Dear Mungo...
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You clearly stated that you are a fairly new F/O...
And I am a captain close to retirement, so I could be the subject of your criticism.
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I do not fly with junior F/Os, as I am on the 747-200, my F/Os are somewhat senior pilots with many years (and hours) of experience. I have been flight training manager for a few years, and often deal with similar accusations about our B-737 and MD-80 captains, who are dealing with F/Os of similar level of experience as yours.
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It amazes me to see the high technical knowledge, of new F/Os, and also their lack of airmanship. SOPs are just a tool, nothing more. Deviations from SOPs are warranted when circumstances dictate. I probably do the same myself, but my senior F/Os are experienced and immediately know why I sometime deviate from the said SOPs. And I give them that privilege too, when required.
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I do a lot of things which are not SOPs...
As example, I sequence flaps and gear extensions a different way (non SOP) to save fuel, most pilots do same as I do.
Top of descent, I ask wing anti-ice ON (non SOP) to warm-up leading edge flap actuators, it helps them to operate as required.
I like to use aerodynamic braking after touch-down and avoid using auto-brakes (non SOP) as I once had defective auto-brakes system and blew 7 tyres.
I do my landings with 25 flaps (SOP), but call for 30 flaps after touch down...
Shall I continue...?
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I learned my trade as a junior F/O with expert old fart captains, and remember their good advices, back in my 707 and 727 days, and for me, the ability of programming FMS in 6.5 seconds before start, by some F/O is not a demonstration of airmanship for future captains.
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Last word... I did not transition to the 747-400s 2 years ago for only one reason. For me, they lack the most important crewmember in the flight deck, which is the F/E. I will retire when the last 747-200 is retired. Winglets are not a turn-on for me.
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My friend Mungo, that captain might be disgusted the way the airline industry is nowadays, and, believe me, he is absolutely right. I share his opinions, and who knows how the industry and employment conditions will be in 20 years from now, when you will be a senior captain. Good luck to you.
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Happy contrails