I think the CAA themselves publish on an occasional basis some of the more entertaining ones; on one occasion a controller told an aircraft in his zone: "for noise abatement, climb to 3000 feet". Pilot: "What's that got to do with noise abatement?" ATC: "Well, by climbing to 3000 feet you will avoid bumping into the twin coming the other way at your present level, and that will save a very big bang".
[This message has been edited by Jumbo Jockey (edited 15 September 2000).]