I'm a Tower controller at STN. I am unaware of any agreement re 164kts vs 160kts but will look into it if someone hasn't already done so.
The problem with speed not complied with is when we have a large number of inbounds, we will 'pack' to 3nm on final. Any erosion of this spacing is then a loss of seperation, whether it sets alarms of or not. It can also easily lead to go arounds as there may not be suffiecient time for the preceding to vacate.
Equally, there is NO excuse for the app controllers reaction. If they were monitoring you because they had an issue with your speed, they should have done something about it rather than just let it run until you were inside 4 dme.
Anytime you have any problems, feel free to give us a call in the VCR and we'll do our best to resolve it.
Cheers, JBG