am I right in thinking that this lady has got BA to back down at BALPA's (ie. my) expense
Yes. That's one of the things you signed up for when you joined BALPA, supporting your colleagues when they need help.
BALPA doesn't exist just to support you. You are entitled to expect support from BALPA members, but you are also expected to lend support to BALPA members, a concept that appears to have escaped you.
Should you ever have the misfortune to need BALPA's help, they will support you, provided they think you have a good case.
How happy would you then feel, if BALPA members started discussing who paid for your training, how long you'd been flying, where were you on the seniority list or what your partner did; rather than discussing the merits of your case?
BALPA won, on behalf of this member, it sounds as if you would have prefered her to lose!
Am I being totally cynical?
No, something far worse!
Not quite sure I'll be paying my subs for much longer.
Frankly the union will be better off without people with your attitude.
