England's Cricketers
Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all-rounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pietersen, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped. (or Losers Being Walloped)
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. Why do Australian girls like English cricketers?
A. They stay on top for four days and still come last.