Judging from the dialogue so far it would seem that the whirlybird pilot (kbf1) has a legitimate complaint. Having worked as a hostie for about 4 years I've received more than my fair share of requests for flight deck visits, which can generally be accomodated. A couple of questions, did the paxing pilot mention that he had already spoken to the Captain? Or that he himself was a pilot? This may have expedited his request.
Even if this was not the case, it seems very slack to have repeated requests turned down out of hand, especially from a business class passenger.
In defence of the F/A in question, I can only say that prior to take off can be one of the busiest periods of flight, and as such sometimes 'nonvital' requests can get overlooked.
To have the request ignored midflight as well is just unprofessional, and makes the 'dressing down' by the captain justified.
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"Beware the self propelled Cargo"