Good problem this one:
SASless I believe you are absolutely right. I fly a lot in a hight tec twin with the ppl owner. The deal we struck on day one was that at any time I was unhappy with what was going on then he had to listen to my concerns and justify his actions if he could. Likewise if when I am flying and he is worried the same rule applies.
We ignore our relative experience and work on the theory that I may know more than him, but that doesn't stop me missing something when I'm flying and that if I'm uncomfortable when he's flying then something is almost certainly wrong.
This way we have avoided scaring ourselves (so far) and our respect for each others' abilities grew far faster as a result.