Saw the cheerful radar post in the European section..... So figured a similar theme as there are plenty interesting more and amusing ones to be found in the African side of things.....
Not only do we have the ill trained and ill equipped doing the impossible every day, but we have to contend with the russians doing their on air shopping and what ever else they feel like...
What a wonderful continent we work in
Here are couple for starters.....
ATC " Cleared take off, climb out to sea, call overhead my station level two five zero "
A/C "Why?"
ATC "Cleared take off, climb out to sea, call overhead my station level two five zero "
A/C "You Know Catumbella, I'm so heavy today that if i do that its going to F*ck up my whole day......"
ATC "OK climb over my station report level two five zero next "
I almost crashlanded the otherday as I thought my FO had actually transmitted.... tears of laughter at 20 ft above the runway dont make for a pretty arrival...it was an otherwise normal appoach...
ATC " XYZ In sight cleared to land "
A/C " OK sir XYZ cleared to land "
as I start the flare a paniced voice comes on the radio " Captain, Captain.....be advised the runway is wet and slippery !!!"
FO "Yeah, like your mama !"
well that was it.....havn't laughed so much for a very long time... but as always the timing of things, like the subsequent landing was less than perfect....
Last week was also fairly amusing...... the usual train smash to get start in one of our beloved african airports... the russians transmitting over each other, everyone else, and doing their on air shopping at the same time..... everyone else getting stepped on and passing half messages....the ATC getting more and more stressed... and the more he got stressed the higher his pitch got and the louder he shouted into the Mic......eventually there was a slight lul in the calls as everyone came up for air...so the one guy manages to get in a whole message.. probably the first that morning.....
A/C " Tower XYZ requesting start !!"
TWR " XZY I give you start clearance 3 times already you must listen out on the radio, I give you start. you must start now and call me ready for taxi it is very busy today you must listen out.........."
the tirade continued for a little while longer, as you could just picture the guy, Mic in hand getting closer and closer to the window and higher and higher in his seat as he vented.... without missing a beat the captain replied very cooly and calmly...
"Sir please sit down when you say that, and we are now ready for taxi"
suitable deflated the tower replied....
"Thankyou Captain, cleared taxi".....
well I have loads more... but brain hurts now........... lets see what else is out there