So it worries me with the above dire warnings of the fatal turn to final and so on - am I missing something that could catch me out big style or is there not enough "flying by feel" taught?
What you're missing is the difference between recognising something when you're concentrating on it 100%, and doing so when a lot else is happening. For a low hours pilot, there's a lot to do in the circuit, and particularly on the turn to final. You're working out where you are, what to do next, what to say on the radio. And if it becomes a bit too much, and you're overloaded, something has to go, and that something could well be your awareness of the speed bleeding off.....just for a few seconds, but that's all it takes. Believe me, it's very, very, very easy to get caught out big time in such a situation. The only way to prevent it is constant vigilance, constant practice, and not pushing yourself beyond your limits to a point where you will get overloaded.