Just the other day I had my annual aircrew medial, but this time, with a GP of seniority similar to that of the collective age of the Rolling Stones. The medical went well until the cough moment... and the discussion went a little like this:
GP: "Do you drink?"
OT: "Yes, in moderation, of course."
GP: "Do you smoke?"
OT: "No. OK, perhaps the odd cigar after a dinner night, at a push!"
GP: "Looking at your PULHEEMS results, I see your bi-laterals are a little raised at the moment. Your HOTAS figures are fine, though. Nothing to worry about."
OT: "Right. Er, what does that mean?"
The GP took out his inspection torch and gave me a clean bill of health for ENT issues, adding:
GP: "Ever has capped actuals?"
OT: "No."
GP: "Ever had a jet-pipe fire?"
OT: "No, although I had a course of A400M pills for a JPA problem some time back."
GP: "I see."
OT: "It was all down to a minor op reuniting my VPI and preventing any further MRTT delays. You know the procedure."
GP: "Was any advice requested prior to the op for your MBA count?"
OT: "No, a bit like the JPA treatment I had for my C123K parts - again I had to wear some water-proof gloves for a time."
GP: "Right. That's clear. I know what we need to do to sort this out."
OT: "What?"
GP: "I recommend a course of P-prunes for breakfast and ease up on the threads to prevent them being removed."
OT: "Thanks."
Has anyone else suffered such indignation at the hands of a Hypocratic oath signatory?