The Passenger,
Non-airline pilot (also) here. Have worked as a controller for a few years. Have flown many times.
Things you might like to consider....
-If professional aircrew come across as impatient with non-expert opinions, it is often because some of those opinions are gestated from media reports, and, aviation, (particularly the regulatory side, which we spend a career learning) is complex, and the media spectacularly get it wrong, so often, again and again. (This can be true of less complex subjects too, of course. After all, the media's job these days is to give us what we want.As much drama and controversy as poss.)
-The flight crew are usually the first to arrive at the accident scene.
-The huge majority of flight crew do not want to die prematurely.
-Of those that do, the huge majority do not elect to take a load of pax with them.
I get to interact with quite a few flight crews day to day. Hardly ever have I encountered an attitude suggestive of non-professional approach. In fact, I can't remember even one.