The] Air Force yesterday signed a ground-breaking deal to produce a range of its own copyright-protected merchandise.
Does this mean that we'll be able to get balloons with "Rise Above The Rest" on them soon??
All I can say is what a load of crap - whoever thought this one up really ought to go and draw the Mess Webley and put themselves and more importantly the rest of the proper Air Force out of its misery.
Mind you, I can just see what will happen if this scheme is true to real life.... Cut to late 2006; little Timmy gets his RAF catelogue in the post and gets all excited by the promise of cheap tat. He decides that he would like an RAF lunchbox to take to his sandwiches to school, because the local authority won't pay the 14.5p per head for school dinners. He sends his order form off and waits. And waits. And waits. He then gets a reply telling him that owing to difficulties in integrating the parts produced in Spain and Italy with said lunchbox, IOC for lunchboxes has been put back to 2009.
Come 2009 and Timmy, still all excited by the prospect of getting his lunchbox rings up the RAF merchandise helpline (lunchbox section), only to be told by a snotty voice on the other end of the line that they only have one lunchbox left and someone else might want it; however, there will probably be a delivery at some point so he can get one in 2010.
By 2010, Timmy is now getting older and despite being a bit too old for a children's lunchbox is developing a stubborn streak and decides he's paid for his lunchbox and he's damn well going to get it. The big day comes and a parcel arrives. Funny shape for a lunchbox he thinks. He opens the parcel, and finds a thermos flask - with no cup and a small hole in the base instead. There is also a note attached explaining that owing to contractual difficulties, lunchbox production has been superceded by flask production, and as they have made fewer flasks than they first thought they would, the price has increased by an extra £20, so would he mind popping a cheque in the post. Little Timmy isn't a happy bunny.
It's late, not what he wanted, cost more than advertised and doesn't do what it should. Now if they are being accurate - that's what RAF merchandise will REALLY be like!
