1 Watch mate climb into super fast pointy jet--well, ok, a Jag to be more precise.
2. Inform passing mates and associated g/fs--"watch this, you'll see something different"---blissfully unaware of what was to follow of course.
3. Clear mate to start No1 and go "Awww bollocks !" over the headset-whilst marvelling at how impressive the flames are in a HAS at 18.30hrs on a hot Friday evening in Summer in Germany.
4. Inform mate that "you have a jet pipe fire--am disconnecting"---this to er, sound the alarm btw--I then had to go back and put a set of steps on for him to evacuate the a/c. Hear rude conformation from mate just before disconnect.
5. Watch farce ensue--long story.
6. Ascertain that a/c has been on QRA for 3 days--and that the
armourers have changed the seat in this time--moving those two funny levers fully open to help things a bit !
7. Drag heap outside, dry cycle No2 and a few hundred litres of fuel emerges. Quell surprise.
8. Concur with mate and advise the same when he tells RAF plod to "F££k off or I'll deck yer"--mate being of Yorkshire extraction with limited diplomatic skills as a result--this was because the plod had commented "are we talking criminal negligence here with these two?-"--indicating moi and mate.
9. Have a "very long and meaningful discussion" with the
armourer involved.
Nothing to it really. No damage to a/c and, more importantly, no silly paper work to occupy my leisure time.
The serious bit though. I have never seen a signal for a jet pipe fire and the reason I assumed it was such was that there was no other noise / explosion etc. from the engine. I know hand signals are commonly used, but, given the option I would always go for a headset--sorry, but it was one of my little quirks as direct communication can save an awful lot of "what's ups" --and a headset with a good lead on as well--not one that attaches you to the nose leg--the further away from the a/c the better I always felt. Others may well disagree of course.