Good luck, as an ex RAAF QFI based on what you have just said I think you are going to need it.
For starters, you don't necessarily get what you want, you get what you assessed as being suitable for. 9 out of 10 don't get what they want. As for being a knuckle head, I would not wish that on my worst enemy. No future in it. I can vouch for that as my "Miracle" time is absolutely useless.
Have a nice day