The first question might be whether you can see yourself flying a desk/computer in a cubicle, traveling with a laptop for a job, or an office (with large window?) instead of an airplane for a living.
Don't forget that procedures are followed in a business, but especially in flying (the public has no awareness of how many we must comply with). Do you realize how much study is involved? But you are not stuck about five days a week where the boss might be around the corner...we rarely see our boss (Chief Pilot)
Do you have 'stars in your eyes', and can only see long-term material rewards and the shiny gold or white stripes etc? Does your girlfriend seem bitten by the lifestyle and image "bug"? Do these rewards only have value if they happen rather soon, in the short-mid term? One must be totally honest with one's self and potential spouse. If present, be able to clearly see, and somehow deal with it (no matter how), or nasty, ugly surprises can lurk just over the horizon. Can a long-term girlfriend or fiance be satisfied with one's pursuit of an interesting career, have infinite patience (no matter whether a wive's sister or mother questions, behind your back, one's financial prospects...), and also be willing to work full-time, in order to help out?
Here are the reasons for these questions, although the situations might be a bit uncommon (?):
Pardon the personal angle here, but what if a lady becomes pregnant in the meantime as a young man struggles through the ratings and heavy heap of financial debt? For example, swimming is difficult with a wet flightsuit and boots, even with no sharks in the swimming pool. Without a very level-headed mate (and totally free of deep-seated emotional troubles...they will often get worse after marriage-guys or gals sometimes won't admit to themselves that these people have problems, and are very hesitant to probe deeper, and cancel an engagement...), serious questions about a few factors which can profoundly change your life, are always a stark reality. My brother 'lost' his (unstable) second wife, who strongly resented the fact that she ALSO needed to work, for them to survive, as he decided to earn his ratings at age 32 or so (she was raised with the idea that having a baby or two was enough, and the need for a spouse to work, was not HER problem). His first wife, despite being quite level-headed, also had unrealistic financial expectations before he even decided to fly. Because he had children to support, he could not afford to work as regional First Officer-this is about US minimum wage. Along with flight instruction, it is often a very critical step in an airline career for US civilian pilots (multi-turbine PIC cross-country and solid instrument approach experience: rain, fog, snow...but never in very heavy rainshowers), unless they are one of the lucky few hired by a good corporate flight department, possibly charter company. Please also realize that an airline job can be used as a VERY HANDY excuse if a marriage flounders, but is not a valid reason, in my opinion. Usually egos and mis-matched personalities/expectations are the reason, from my perspective
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Second, can you afford to earn your ratings and probably earn little for a few years? Some luck (from hard work, persistence, multiple sources of info.) and an upswing in the economy at the right time are factors.
If you can agree to these general requirements, then maybe you can adjust to missing a Christmas (etc) or birthday each year for a while-but can a girlfriend or wife adjust to the totally unique lifestyle? Speaking of women, about 17 years ago I took a young German lady to lunch nearby. She lived not far from here as an "au pair" for a flight attendant who had a baby. The German girl had a boyfriend who was trying very hard to be selected by Lufthansa for the "ab initio" flight training program. Between bites of her sandwich, she suddenly (immer Angst vor Einkreisung...) brought up a subject about a vague notion, prevalent among those with no exposure to our industry: "Tell me about the Stewardesses"! I told her: " I don't find too many of ours very attractive, and almost all of the attractive ones either are married or always have a boyfriend; a fraction consists of men who have boyfriends..., many women are not very young, and don't worry about it". She was already concerned and anxious about some vague idea-her boyfriend had not even been accepted yet! What she had not considered, is the fact that the spouse at home, day after day, has more of an opportunity to "get into trouble". The other person is the one who almost always goes to different places, with often just enough time to sleep and shower (alone) after 4, 5 or even 7 flights in one duty period.
Pardon another very remote, negative possibilty, but, we had a lead flight attendant (just one...) who told us that SHE would decide when her husband (on probation) could upgrade from 727 to DC-10 etc. She would not allow a TDY stay in Paris, because of the 'women over there', or words to that effect, and I doubt that she had ever spent any time there (instructed by Hollywood movies with Gene Kelly? Certainly not "Frantic", with Harrison Ford). Maybe this insecure young Flight Attendant noticed how the foreign ladies eat a good bit less (she might have felt very self-conscious about her not-so-good figure...). My FO and I looked at each other and I wondered why the guy put up with such ludicrous, out-of-place treatment. I told him that with many of us she would quickly become history
. But maybe these types are quite rare (?). Your situation will probably be much better-I honestly hope so.
On a more positive note, being apart from a wife not only gives you more to chat about (after you rest for a while), but mostly removes the boring daily routine which many people live through. Almost any spouse needs a little independence and time away (unless she grew up in a mountain cabin and had no shoes), unless they have some anxiety hang-ups. I told my wife last October in Maastricht, twice, that she could stay by herself an extra three days or so (my working trip at home began four days later) and see a nearby slice of Belgium, Aachen, Germany, even back to Delft, but despite being an experienced traveler, she simply did not want any problem traveling alone as a "non-rev"/staff wife.
If you can become interested in airplanes, as complex machinery and extensions of yourself, with basically reliable systems (which can fail) requiring knowledge of limitations, systems' knowledge and normal/abnormal procedures and (consider it) as a challenge, can gradually but nevertheless steadily learn to adjust to quickly-changing weather, air traffic control (atc) and other situations, first either as an instructor or as First Officer, working in an uncompromising, unstable industry, then flying might be for you
. This might sound twisted, but sometimes the unknown makes it interesting. These comments might reflect mostly a US attitude, or not, but maybe you can cross-check it with attitudes and career factors "over there". Ratings over there can cost so much more! Lots of foreign types train in Florida etc. Beware, that in addition to the huge financial investments (unless selected ab initio), some beginning pilots might not encourage you to begin the long training route-you could later be competition for them, in a saturated market!