Flintstone=> the people who want to be in my position are mostly outsiders who don't have a clue about aviation.
No. I know of several people who are well aware of aviation but nevertheless would give their eye teeth to be where you are now.
Without wishing to sound like a boring old fart you make your own luck. I've been in your position with the slight difference of having had a family in tow. I did all the crap jobs to pay my bills and keep the family and you know what happened? I got 'lucky'.
After several hundred letters, phone calls and incessant pestering my CV happened to land on the top of the pile when a company needed someone to fill a space on interviews. 'Lucky' I sent it when I did, eh?
As one who went the self improver route I fully sympathise with the comments about those whose way is paid for by rich parents or benefactors. I trained with them and as an instructor I trained them. As an interviewer I confess I paid extra attention to them when they were in front of me looking for a job. Did they want it as badly as the guy who had worked three jobs at once to pay his own way or did they just like the uniform?
dboy. You say you feel like a failure now but how will you feel in five years if you walk away now? Stay or go, neither will be easy but whoever said life is easy?