Worst PA I've heard yet was a skipper briefing the pax prior to a transatlantic charter. Flight to Sanford, Florida and the cabin crew were already concerned about at least one pap who had a very intense fear of flying.
Capt: "Good morning everybody, Captain XXX speaking. Welcome aboard this XXX flight to Sanford. Before we get underway, I'd like to remind you all to keep the cabin tidy. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, it's my aeroplane, not yours. Secondly, as I'm sure you are all aware Air France recently crashed at Toronto requiring 300 passengers to evacuate the aircraft before it caught fire......"
(there then followed a lengthy lecture about keeping the cabin tidy and the aisles clear and how the CC aren't here to clean up after you).
Even the CC were all stood shaking their heads in uncomfortable embarassment at this one. I'm sure his heart was in the right place, but he was definitely sitting on his brains.
