Intercepted from rooters news services this afternoon:
Reports of the revolutionary new R22 Vulcan gunship developed for the budget concious Taliban have been filtering through this week. There are reports of debris identifiable with the aircraft in a smoking hole near Kandahar, and unconfirmed eye witnesses claim it is (was) the gunship.
Taliban spokesman Manuts Ache Noow, said "we can confirm that Allah's Gunship (the R22 Vulcan) recently shot down a B1B bomber whilst on patrol near Diego Garcia. This continues the spectacular success of the aircraft, having previously shot down a UH-60 in the earlier stages of the war, and having shot the wheel assembly off a CH-47 two weeks ago. Allah's Gunship is a feared weapon of defiance" he said.
Eye Witness reports continue to contradict the Taliban position. Whilst there is little denial that the aircraft was a spectacular success, eye witnesses claim that during a victory roll over Kandahar, the pilot answered his cell phone and accidently tangled his sheets in the controls. He was unable to regain control before Allah's earth came up to smite him, and the gunship became a smoking hole. An un-named American expert who analysed the aircraft said " the [Allah's Gunship] aircraft was well named because it is only by the will of Allah that the aircraft would fly without rotor incursion, mast bump, and rotor seperation. It is clear that due to the desert air at night the aircraft would glow when airborne, thus illuminating it to the allied forces whom were able to direct fire at it. In the subsequent manuevering to avoid the fire, the delta 3 offset so confused the pilot that he entered sideslip which caused the main rotor to fly off. It is a well known problem with these type of aircraft" he said.
Either way, it appears that Allah's Gunship - the revolutionary R22 Vulcan - is no more.
Rooters News Services: Afghanistan
