Proone
Why stop at hats?
1. Bin uniforms.
2. Get rid of messes - give everyone an extra £2.50 a week to find their own accommodation (call it the 'ex factor'), whilst offering up the Stn sports pitches as camping grounds for those who can't afford to live off base (then we won't need PAYD).
3. Sell all the Married Quarters to a Japanese Company (for peanuts) and then rent them back whilst agreeing to release, say, 10% of them every 2 years. Conveniently forget that this means that by 2020 there will be no Married Quarters left.
4. From now on, Dining-In Nights to be Dining-Out Nights held at Beafeater or local equivalent (for Command HQs) and McDonalds/Burger King (for Stations).
5. Instead of all the above, hold bi-monthly compulsory lectures for all personnel to be instructed on what life used to be like, thus developing Service Ethos! Or alternatively write a book about it and issue enough for one for each person to SPFSs, enabling them to completely fill their storerooms leaving no room for other expensive stuff (saving money).
6. Get rid of all those noisy, smelly flying thingies (let's face it, they are the root cause of all our expenditure!).
BA