Blueloo,
Although I cant speak out of personal experience for QF I must agree that the attitude of some crew when it comes to the last choice does leave a lot to be desired.
It is at this time crew should especially be nice and apologetic. At the start of the service I generally make a PA advising of the choice (we dont have menu cards at BA in Y anymore) and include an apology if the first choice is unavailable by the time we get to you. Then when it does happen I make an apology before I present the tray and then offer to go and get them whatever drink they would like instead of just wine. Usually works for me and I must admit that its been a long time since anyone has actually argued or been rude to me because of the fact!