This (C)RAP
Out here in the desert, thousands of miles from home
Spend most my time a day-dreaming, give the man a bone(r)!
Sent here to kill the terrorists by Tony B. Liar
But unlike some previous conflicts, my belly ain’t got D fire.
Will it all soon be done now that it’s rolled into another year
Will I finally get the chance to spend time with those that I hold dear
When we departed ???, we spent many hours on a bus
But despite financial Cut after Cut after Cut, we’re supposed not to fuss
Military Life’s controlled by Boys who just make noise
Get rid of these Bleeders coz they’re no Leaders
Loyalty’s a 2-way street, people are voting with their feet
Lots of other nations provide in-theatre personnel with a Tax Break
But as usual with the UK Government, it’s just Take Take Take
We’re all living in tents either sweating or a-freezing our balls
But you can’t do no proper work if you ain’t got proper tools
If the Military wanted tent material that rustled when it’s windy
Then I can tell you for sure they found one of the top three!
Same old, same old, same old meals
Provided by Contractors on ‘Fantastic Deals’
Military Life’s controlled by Boys who just make noise
Get rid of these Bleeders coz they’re no Leaders
Loyalty’s a 2-way street, people are voting with their feet
When I was younger, Flight Safety was paramount
These days it seems to get overlooked a fair amount
Tests of the tannoy systems happen every day at 4pm
How’s that compatible with sleeping for night flying then?
Need a good nights sleep from Tamazepam to make this headache go away
But we’re either flying or on Standby, Day after Day after Day
They spray round outside the tents with insecticide many times a week
Is it inhaling this stuff that’s making me feel meek?
Military Life’s controlled by Boys who just make noise
Get rid of these Bleeders coz they’re no Leaders
Loyalty’s a 2-way street, people are voting with their feet
The welfare package should leave me without a care
All I can say to that, is shove it where there’s no air
Get a twenty-minute phone allowance to last me a whole week
Allegedly I’d be better treated if I’d been sentenced by a Beak
Apparently I’m man enough to Die for my Country if need be
But when I’m not on Standby, they decree 2 beers is enough for me
I know it might sound like all I’ve done is bleat
But I’m really looking forward to a toilet with a seat
