Lets just have a look at what Gimble Stop has said so far:
1. Aircraft is a SPIFR B412, ex QES, kitted up with all the goodies and the flight manual full of annexes for the STCs.
(So far, so good - the machines are showing their age, but at least he isn't trying to do it with a NVFR single.)
2. It will fly around 2 hours a day on average, and as Gimble says "They will hardly ever fly."
(Hmm.. staying current will be a problem.)
3. He wants low-time pilots and expects a 5-hour endorsement.
(Oops, we just crossed the line between Great Operator and Great Pretender.)
4. Not interested in the current staff, they have too many fixed ideas and inefficient practices.
(So there goes the pool of knowledge and experience with those particular aircraft, which, if I recall correctly, have a really strange mod to the collective trim which makes it work in reverse. Does "inefficient practices" include staying alive?)
5. Crewmen are not required, and anyway, they are too expensive and want to have shifts which take crew duty into account. Surf knowledge is not required, and this will somehow improve CRM.
(See note to point 3.)
6. The aircraft have been secured, and he has "Been given the nod" for the tender.
(The Nodder is a bigger ******** than GS)
7. Pilots and copilots will pay for their own endorsement.
(Add this to the "low time" bit, mix it with the "hardly ever fly" bit and you get some wonderfully experienced crews.)
8. Copilots will run the hoist. "Up, down, how hard can that be?"
(Hoo, boy.... And if the copilot is ever allowed back into the front seat, will he remember what to do?)
9. One pilot will be attending a seminar, and he will then be the chief trainer for the crewpilotpersons.
(What a great plan. And Gimble Stop will be doing a correspondence course from Nigeria University to pass his Chief Pilot and Managing Directors MBA.)
Marvellous wind-up, GS.
Gibbo, don't waste your valuable time with this one. But it makes amusing reading.
