Wonderful thread!
One wonders, HSWL, from reading in your posts, where you are in the training pipeline????
Within the training world the uphold of standard practices and good house keeping are paramount. The 'jolly old chap' who lets you cut corners is going to cut thousands off your bank account when the re-sits come. Training provides a baseline from which all are measured and the 'pedantic' (your word not mine) captain/instructor is the one who will keep you safe, correct and passing your type rating tests.
As a helo driver I am also crossing into the fixed wing world and loving it, haven't flown planks for 20 years and am highly thankful to all the 'pedantic' instructors who have recognised my helicopter traits and set me up on the correct path. Thanks to a 'pedantic' instructor/captain who picked up on my every mistake, I passed my fixed wing licenses first time.
Within the helo world I had many a Co/FO both younger and older, irrespective of their outlook/view we worked as a team because that is what is required to operate helos at low level in poor conditions. If you really have a problem then choose another career because you will be rostered with every type of person and if YOU have the chip on the shoulder they will come back with the same frostiness!!
Am I a pedantic captain? Yes. Do I require SOP from my co-pilot/FO at all times? Yes Do I get annoyed if the correct phraseology is not used? Yes. Why then? In the helicopter world we tend to operate very much more 'hands on' than our fixed wing bretheren, in much more inhospitable conditions. If the Co/FO cannot get the SOP correct in times of low stress/arousal levels how can I be sure that he will 1) Perform the correct actions, 2) In the correct order, 3) At the correct time. If for example the Co fires the extingusher on an engine fire before the aircraft has reached safe single engine speed, we are in deep s!!t. He learns, I live and keep my command!
Relax, live a little, learn alot
Edited due to forgetting something! Must be getting old, crouchy and pedantic!!!