I dont know if you have B&Q stores or Wal-Mart or somthing similar where you are, but just pick one at random get yourself down there buy the biggest brush and shovel, and start at the bottom of the pile again, dont give up for that would mean your backbone has a problem, after a lot of sweeping and shovelling and re-learning you just might get somthing worth doing right the next time.
I hope you dont feel this is too hard, but when you cock up you can either run and hide, or............. stand up and fight, if you truly want to fly then the latter is your only way!!!
Peter Russell-Blackburn
Lancashire, UK