IO540 and Whirly - I completely agree with your points.
My own experience has been that I returned to fying after a long layoff, where previously I had got as far as soloing but ran out of money.
Unfortunately, when I returned to it I failed a medical. After some 2 or 3 further years the NPPL turned up, and I was able to start training again and gain a licence.
Continuing to pass the (sensible) hurdles the CAA Aeromedical section placed in my way, I shortly afterwards converted to a JAR-PPL, and gained an IMCR.
The only reason for mentioning all that is to point out that I am quite motivated to fly, and wish to combine pleasure with a modicum of convenient flying to occasional business meetings where an awkward and tiring drive would otherwise be the requirement.
I'm now nearing my first JAR-PPL renewal date, and do not anticipate failing to renew.
I am, though, still hiring. The training cost put buying into a syndicate beyond me, even if I knew of any suitable ones in my locality.
As a hirer, I am confronted by aircraft which are generally elderly, and suffer from the 'washing machine with wheels' syndrome unless I make the effort to find (as I did for one trip this summer) a more salubrious aircraft. Actually that was prompted by range, speed, and load-carrying considerations, and I had to drive about 100 miles each way to collect it, etc.. The aircraft generally available to me are adequate in terms of maintenance and instrumentation, but do not excite a passenger to any enthusiasm!
The club to which I currently belong, and where I trained, is able to offer very good aircraft availability, and is, I gather, one of the foremost flying clubs. What does appal me, though, is the social scene or lack of it. There is a tired-looking clubhouse (though some efforts are being made to improve some facilities), which often seems to resemble a sport pavilion after a violent party, and what I regard as a very anorak-ridden atmosphere. Worst of all, in this respect, it is cliquey. I have lost count of the times I have sat having a cup of tea in the clubhouse and been spoken to by no-one, though I admit I am very shy and tend not to take the initiative. (I exclude instructors from this - they are mostly very outgoing and friendly.)
Efforts have occasionally been made to try to get new PPLs to share flights, but this seems not to have borne fruit in my experience. Events which have been going for many years, and which draw their own self-perpetuating cliques, seem to form the official social programme.
In short, despite being a very large club, with a large number of students, one meets and greets only the instructing staff and the desk staff.
I have come to realise that I feel, when visiting the club, that I am a customer rather than a member. That may perhaps make me regard the 'product' in a harsher way than I might otherwise do.
None of this will put me off flying, but I do see that it is daunting for those perhaps less motivated - who are precisely the people who need to be encouraged, so that their motiivation solidifies.