Fuzzchild,
You, quite clearly, do not have the right stuff for a career in aviation. Becoming a pilot in the RAF demands the highest levels of self-motivation and dedication. If you baulk at a 12 year commitment then we are definitely not for you - and you are not for us. However, I can assure you that for all but the lucky few, a career in civil aviation from scratch is even harder to achieve. Some guys work for 15 or 20 years+ in other jobs to fund their flying aspirations before finally getting the one job they've been dreaming about since they were a kid. You are owed nothing by anybody in this business until you have proved yourself.
I wish you success in whatever career you choose - but please don't delude yourself that you could have made it. You have shown us all that you couldn't.