I like
Bealzebub's style.
If only
411A would make use of that style, then boy oh boy, we would have a
perfect captain.
If an F/O needs a wake-up call to turn 180°, then it says a lot about his character, but at least he's on the right track afterwards.
You both have valid (good) comments, as do the others.
My thoughts: Don't take things personally. Discuss the issue there and then. Simply ask straight questions, but always with a smile and as Bealzebub suggests put the other guy "up", but in such a way that it makes him think about what you're saying, which leads him to question his own behaviour.
All too often, people who criticise others, are merely dissatisfied with something about themselves.