A new study by the YTRY Institute of Satistics has found a remarkable connection between birdstrikes and aircraft accident rates.
As clearly visible in the graph above, accident rates have soared when the birds haven't. During migratory periods, however, the accident rates have lulled.
When asked for comment, the Controllers' Association has said that most migratory species fall outside the requirements for transponder carriage in Class E airspace; accidents occurring in this airspace are part of the normal procedures and therefore aren't recorded in the official statistics.
YTRY Institute sources claimed CA members as scaremongers who would be no good as scarecrows in Gwydir.
The Minister's office failed to return our calls.
The Member for Shortfinalinsydney claimed this was all part of a federal government strategy to inflict more noise upon the residents of the inner city and promised to replace Kingsford Smith with a new international airport in the southern highlands, freeing up the wetlands of Botany Bay for the endangered migratory spotting dick.
Meanwhile a journalist was sacked for demonstrating severe lack of technical knowledge while writing an aviation-related puff piece.