".....he understood only when I suggested we retire to the rear of the Mess to sort it out 1 v 1!"
Hardly an officer like or even a mature attitude.
Why do you consider 'hairy' to be inappropriate? I've only ever heard it used in friendly banter, never as a term of derision.
'Green shielder' was the usual parry!
For complete and utter 'status' bull$hit, the comment made by a particularly wet Cranwell Flt Cdr to an ex-apprentice member of 14 GE that he had 'un-officer like facial bone structure' was hard to beat!