C69,
Good for you to come back at it!
Have a good look at yourself and say what you really want.
If I read between the lines then I get the feeling that you are not going to 'cope' with a third episode of frustration so what I suggest would be the following, bearing in mind what all has been said about flying over here.
1. You already had your fill of the UK weather and have the means to get some hours in when you are back here to 'adjust' to the small differences in flying over here compared to the states.
2. Get your US visa; make contact with one of the reputable schools in the states and get yourself over there for 2-3 weeks (ring them and talk to them the good ones will give a good indication on how much time you will need)
3. Get an FAA medical and do the FAA PPL at the same time. AS IO540 states it does open another window and future opportunities.
4. Get your licence (and the FAA license) and seek out a nice group of people that operate an aeroplane which fits the bill for you.
5. Have fun in getting the tickets and exploring the envelope with them.
FD