Joe Aston
Columnist
Aug 9, 2023
Rear Window
Wednesday was a crucial day out in Canberra for Qantas chief executive
Alan Joyce and chief executive designate
Vanessa Hudson, a petrified hostage on her predecessor’s interminable farewell tour.
When a CEO repurposes an iconic brand in his own image, for his own reasons (and with the total acquiescence of his weak chairman), can you really expect him to relinquish that brand in an orderly fashion? Whatever Hudson might’ve hoped for, Joyce’s months-long meltdown, his bonfire of brand equity, is just the price of accession for any heir to a mad king.
Alan Joyce performed his final tour of Canberra on Wednesday. Rhett Wymannone
Each of King’s explanations has been more implausible than the last. What of the thousands of local jobs that would spring from 28 new flights per week
bringing 150,000 foreign tourists to Australia annually?
Secure Australian jobs! Joyce
removed nearly 8000 jobs from the Qantas workforce in the 11 years he ran the company before COVID hit.
Qantas just launched new flights to New York via Auckland, crewed by Kiwis. Cheaper New Zealand-based flight attendants are operating Qantas flights between Brisbane and Los Angeles, and Melbourne and Delhi. Qantas’ trans-Tasman flights are crewed by Kiwi flight attendants
and pilots. Qantas’ London flights are operated by London-based cabin crew.
Qantas just wet-leased two Finnair A330s (supposedly with Finnair crew attached) to take over Qantas flights to Bangkok and Singapore for two years. That deal was on the basis, Joyce
angrily exclaimed, “they are positive for the creation of [Australian] jobs and anyone who says anything else is just completely wrong”. It emerged last week that cabin crew for those two aircraft will be provided by Asian labour hire firms!
Qantas illegally sacked 1700 baggage handlers in 2020. Qantas, the TWU and King’s cabinet colleague
Tony Burke – the Workplace Relations Minister who argued in support of the TWU – are awaiting the High Court’s appeal judgment.
In April, Qantas lodged
a special application with Immigration Minister Andrew Giles to hire nearly 300 foreign pilots and engineers. While nothing has been announced, sources close to the decision say Giles has only allowed Qantas to hire 10 foreign training pilots and rejected the rest. Joyce was right – industrial relations is the one area where Albanese can’t give him whatever he wants.
As presaged elsewhere, Joyce and Hudson hosted an intimate dinner for a select group of parliamentarians in the members’ private dining room on Wednesday.
At 5pm, as a kind of ambush amuse-bouche, Labor Senator
Tony Sheldon, his successor as TWU Secretary
Michael Kaine, and ACTU president
Michele O’Neilheld a briefing for the Labor caucus. “For those who are also attending the Alan Joyce dinner … the briefing provides an opportunity to hear both sides of the Qantas story,” the invite read. More than 20 members and senators attended.
At Joyce’s dinner, naturally, main course was lame duck. Minister King was a late scratching. We couldn’t confirm whether Burke or Giles attended.
Peter Duttonwasn’t even invited. The prime minister dropped by, only to pick up a new Chairman’s Lounge card for his dog Toto.
Can’t you just visualise the bonhomie? Joyce the grizzled entertainer, repeating the same anecdotes, cracking the same jokes. This is how it’s done, Vanessa, they eat right out of my hand! The strain of fake laughter, MPs just desperate for the end – when they can form a line, like at a mafia wedding, to petition Joyce for their freebies. Flights for their mistresses. Free upgrades for their idiot children. It’s the Canberra bubble, baby, the circle of public life. Snigger all you like, but no wheel turns without grease.
Luckily, Wednesday was not Joyce’s final dance on the political stage. The Senate select committee on the cost of living has summoned him to appear before its inquiry on August 28 in Melbourne. For
someone who’s not a public figure, you’d have to think this is a pretty unreasonable level of public scrutiny.
As for Australia’s cost of living crisis, Joyce brings deep personal insight to the table. Only two months ago he
bought his neighbour’s apartment for $9 million so he could knock out the wall and create a $20 million penthouse. 18 months earlier, he might’ve picked it up for $7 million! Asset inflation – it’s killing working families.
I want to see Alan Joyce the econometrician explain to the Australian parliament how artificially restricting the supply of airline seats is good for lowering airfares. I want to hear the logical contortions fall from his lips. You betcha, he’ll try. Better yet, he’ll even believe it – and that, alone, will be worth the bus ticket.