Originally Posted by
megan
Not really, when you make the decision you take whatever door is open, no logic attached. Anyone who has stood on the precipice understands.
Here is an excerpt from Phillip K. Dick's 'Martian Time Slip' that has described, scarily, that moment so well to me.
Suddenly it came to him that he should kill himself. The idea appeared in his mind full blown, as if it had always been there, always a part of him. Easy to do it, just crash the 'copter. He thought, I am goddamn tired of being Norbert Steiner.....
In fact, he thought, why wait until I can get back to the ‘copter? Along the street came a huge, rumbling tractor-bus, the sides dull with sand; it had crossed the desert just now, was coming to New Isreal from some other settlement. Steiner set down his suitcases and ran out into the street, directly at the tractor-bus.
The bus honked; its air brakes screeched. Other traffic halted and Steiner ran forward with his head down, his eyes shut. Only at the last moment, with the sound of the air horn so loud in his ears that it became unbearably painful, did he open his eyes; he saw the driver of the bus gaping down at him, saw the steering wheel and the number on the driver’s cap. And then-
Impulse is a strange thing. I do solo mountaineering and have caution but not fear of exposure, but I really don't like to walk across high bridges or be in tall buildings, man made things. On such structures I feel like I might have an impulse to jump and am pretty grippy with railings and very uncomfortable and bail as soon as possible. But I have no concerns rappelling a face except the usual stuff you always check. Weird.