Heard that Paul McCartney bought his wife a new wooden leg for christmas. Not her main present, you understand, more of a stocking filler...
Q. Why does Edward Woodward have four 'D's in his name?
A. Without them he would be Eewaa Woowaa! (Try it out loud - it works, trust me!).
When I die, I hope it is peacefully, in my sleep, just like my old grandad. Not screaming in abject terror like his passengers.