I understand there is a C-130J (ZH879) just landed at Marshall's in Cambridge which might meet the spec.....
ORAC, while I appreciate that your post was tongue-in-cheek it does touch on an attitude within the MOD that any capability can be made ‘better’ (ie: cheaper) by civvies (normally ex-mil) under contract. This is despite the fact that the military version can be used for other tasks outside of the narrow contract. So an RAF owned & operated C130 which could do the para training and a host of other tasks in war and peace is less preferable to a civil-run light turboprop that can only be used for throwing soldiers out of. Viewed in isolation the latter is better/ cheaper than the former at that one task, so the former will always lose out.