AF. Being retired excuses you from knowing the alternate aerodrome rules for aircraft changed last week.
Basically you need one for large aircraft unless (1) you’re going to an isolated aeródrome or (2) you’re within 60 mins of the destination. Both scenarios need good weather and no ATC delays.
Scenario 2 won’t stop some of the scenarios you mention but it’s half a step in a safer direction.
Part 121 MOS applies, but good luck trying to interpret.