Hello fella, been aaaages since I looked in here as it's been a long time I flew (badly) - but I have a few tips for you RE RAF vs RN. I've graduated from both Cranditz and Dartmouth...and did FAR better at the latter. This was a good indication to me that although BRNC took twice as long, it suited me twice as well. IMHO, you're right about the emphasis on officer like qualities in the RN. IOT phys was harder, the staff far less pleasant in general, and the level of arrogance in many of the students was breathtaking. Many of them are now fantastically talented pilots and navigators, but some are sadly rather less talented at being pleasant human beings. Of course this is true of many things in life...I miss flying (i was chopped at JEFTS and was not rebranched) but after a few years and some fantastic experiences at sea (now well down the road to qualifying as a submarine warfare officer) I see where my talents lie.
It's good to see your appreciation of the importance of officer like qualities - I see now more clearly than I ever did in the RAF as I live and work beside junior and senior rates every day. This is the real test.