Wish I HAD said that!!
Apologies if this has been aired before:-
Lossie SWO stops scruffy long-haired airman at the main gate with his pace stick across the lad's chest:
"There's $hit on the end of my pace stick..."
Quick as a flash our boy retorts:
"Not at this bloody end Sir!"
Apparently Joe SWO was so amused he let the lad off!