I was an Instructor many years ago. The statement you made in your original post caught my eye.
" flying again fills me with anxiety"
There can be many reasons why you have used this phrase, including amount of instructors you have had.
If you continue as you are now and pass your PPL, I'd take a bet that you discontinue flying within 2 years. This is common for a variety of reasons.
Address the anxiety and its root before sinking even more money into the enterprise.
Best of luck.