N90, really appreciate putting your side of the incident. I can understand what being overworked, undemanned and pretty stressed feels like, as that is the state of many of us in the flight deck too. However, there is too often a hectoring and aggressive approach over the radio in New York, be that on the ground in JFK or when speaking to approach.
NY approach are pretty good, and have some serious airspace issues to contend with, but they would be a whole lot better if they spoke more slowly, used standard RT, and remembered that not everyone comes to JFK every day.
This is is also another example of the lack of understanding on both sides of the microphone - fam flights are few and far between these days, and it would be v unlikely that a controller has had the experience of sitting on a jump seat watching the crew try to pick their way through the weather or understanding some of the issues with “too clever by half” modern weather radars.