Two from an ATC sim session long ago in a place far away
Same student, same session! [Student in the pilot room as well.]
Pilot: "Tower say the wind"
TWR: "the wind"
Pilot: "Negative say the wind direction and speed"
TWR: "the wind direction and speed"
Pilot: Negative negative what is the wind"
TWR (clearly remembering MET 101: "Air in motion".
And the classic, later in the session having completely lost the picture and just as a visitor (only CDF in company with the Base Commander, CO and CI) entered the sim:
"All aircraft this frequency make one left hand orbit".
Even though he was only a pseudo RW pilot from the Army the look on the General's face said, "Fail that lad immediately!".
If you're reading this Billy B - I still remember that tragic performance in 1980.
MJG
thankfully no longer plagued with such nonsense