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30th Oct 2009, 14:36
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Drill instructor: "Right you orrible little lot....

Drill instructor: "Right you orrible little lot. Having watched your progress from below,not only do I note that some of you aren't wearing your combat issue knickers, thanks to this fact I also note...
6th Oct 2009, 12:03
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

'So hot shot, do you wanna demonstrate to me how...

'So hot shot, do you wanna demonstrate to me how you flipped Ivan the finger?'

'I'll even go negative G (string) if it helps'
30th Sep 2009, 22:07
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

The Fleet Air Arm had finaly found a use for...

The Fleet Air Arm had finaly found a use for theVixen........dropping it on troops from 5000ft.
24th Sep 2009, 12:19
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

'If you call me Darth once more you cheeky...

'If you call me Darth once more you cheeky whelp..... can't you recognise the uniform of a Tie Fighter Pilot? How dare you confuse me with a Sith Lord, I work for a living?'
16th Sep 2009, 22:48
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Pilot > Tower. ' Will someone please remove those...

Pilot > Tower. ' Will someone please remove those bloody Bootnecks from the taxi way?'

Or

The exchange Royal Navy pilot was reminded of his heritage of 'Rum, Sodomy and the Lash'.

Or
...
1st Sep 2009, 18:07
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Yuri had that nagging feeling that he had...

Yuri had that nagging feeling that he had forgotten something, like leaving the gas on.......
27th Aug 2009, 11:45
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

David Attenborough voice on - 'And here we...

David Attenborough voice on -

'And here we see the female Condor, regurgitating her prey, so that she can feed her young chicks.....'

David Attenborough voice off -
5th Aug 2009, 13:22
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

MOD Procurement decided to go one better in...

MOD Procurement decided to go one better in predicting what equipment would be needed in the next war. They would instead predict what was needed in the 'next next' war.

Of course, the next war...
25th Jul 2009, 23:24
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Pvt. Smithy's attempts to covertly dry hump the...

Pvt. Smithy's attempts to covertly dry hump the sofa were a success, until he fell back to memories of basic training and started Grunting.
18th Jul 2009, 22:52
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Maggie Thatcher fly's again. or Flt lt...

Maggie Thatcher fly's again.

or

Flt lt Pprunester wondered why control wasn't answering her requests for the next vector
10th Jul 2009, 14:15
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

'Hi honey...is that a loaded gun in your pocket...

'Hi honey...is that a loaded gun in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?? :E'


'No, it's my p*ss tube, but thanks for wiping the end. '
6th Jul 2009, 08:42
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Ok guys, last one touching the deck has to kiss...

Ok guys, last one touching the deck has to kiss Hazel Blears.
3rd Jul 2009, 09:44
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

In an attempt to prove that North Koreans are...

In an attempt to prove that North Koreans are better than Americans at everything. Kim Il Jong demonstrates how his people would have leapt from the Towers during 9/11.......in formation.

Or
...
25th Jun 2009, 23:36
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Your meant to check the weapons butt, is held...

Your meant to check the weapons butt, is held firm sir!........


or


You, see me in my cabin at 2200.......bring a friend.
13th Jun 2009, 18:16
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

The guy in the second seat wondered why his hair...

The guy in the second seat wondered why his hair had been drawn by a 3 yr old using Crayons.
12th Jun 2009, 12:55
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

I did like 622's late comment, it nearly got the...

I did like 622's late comment, it nearly got the win.

However I have to go with the clever simplicity of ShyTorques entry. It works so well.

Thanks

Over to you ShyTorque.
8th Jun 2009, 12:28
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Thank you very much Shawtarce. Lets see how...

Thank you very much Shawtarce.

Lets see how this one does.

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/07/03/segway-military.jpg


Judging on Friday.
5th Jun 2009, 09:29
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

It was on a windless day that Brian (the Bike...

It was on a windless day that Brian (the Bike rider) was asked by his younger brother (Mikey) if Brian wouldn't mind helping him fly to his 'Kite' with the aid of his R1.
It was on that same...
5th Jun 2009, 08:08
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

The latest and cruelest pastime for light...

The latest and cruelest pastime for light aircraft pilots......Pillion fishing.
29th May 2009, 12:42
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

The cameraman hoped that his buddy was asking him...

The cameraman hoped that his buddy was asking him if he wanted to go skiing for the next holiday, if not then it meant another trip to Brighton.....
27th May 2009, 22:12
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Bit of T-Cut, this'll polish up nicely. or ...

Bit of T-Cut, this'll polish up nicely.

or

Damn, looks like I didn't even snag the 3rd cable again.
27th May 2009, 18:16
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Commander Fosdyke pondered his error of not...

Commander Fosdyke pondered his error of not stating whether his plans were drawn using inches, feet or Yards when designing the Wardroom Yo-Yo.
21st May 2009, 23:25
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Apparantley, once we drop it from 10,000 ft, it...

Apparantley, once we drop it from 10,000 ft, it will magicly become a bowl of Petunia's!
18th May 2009, 14:07
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Okay, okay, I promise to stop whistling that...

Okay, okay, I promise to stop whistling that bloody Carpenters song, now can I please come back in?

Or

'Hank, seeing as you now have control of the Space Arm.....Would now be a good time to...
13th May 2009, 17:31
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

The Grand Dragon considered just how intense the...

The Grand Dragon considered just how intense the initiation process for the Klu Klux Klan had become, whilst watching the 'Ceremony of the Swollen Ass'.

Gone are the days when you just had to be...
12th May 2009, 15:41
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

It seems to be getting a wee bit quite on this...

It seems to be getting a wee bit quite on this one, so I think I should call an early end to proceedings.


I think that in second place is Pontius.



But I'd like to vote JagRigger as...
8th May 2009, 09:22
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Crikey, thank you Danny, I didn't think that one...

Crikey, thank you Danny, I didn't think that one would win it to be honest.

OK, here is one that I hope has not been done before. If it has I have another couple that could go up. And yes this is...
3rd May 2009, 22:35
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

In theory the SOP's for drive by shootings...

In theory the SOP's for drive by shootings worked.
But yet again MOD procurement had failed again.

Or

Bloke on red Trike: ' What the hell are you laughing at lofty?'
Bloke on Blue Quad: Were...
1st May 2009, 07:13
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Flt Lt Pprunes prototype interceptor would have...

Flt Lt Pprunes prototype interceptor would have been in with a chance of success.......... if he hadn't insisted on hand launching the damn thing.
28th Apr 2009, 10:37
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Chap pushing: 'So, did you make this from a kit?'...

Chap pushing: 'So, did you make this from a kit?'

Guy Pulling: 'Actually it came as part of a series of magazines. Every month I would get a nice 16 page colour magazine that would detail the...
15th Apr 2009, 10:57
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Seaman Bloggs: Wow, I can't believe that they...

Seaman Bloggs: Wow, I can't believe that they managed to get that thing flying

Seaman Jones: That's nothing, you should have seen him land it yesterday.
14th Apr 2009, 13:24
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Ok, I'll take your breathalyser test...hic, as...

Ok, I'll take your breathalyser test...hic, as long as you put your lips round this first....hic?
27th Mar 2009, 12:42
Replies: 58,121
Views: 10,868,400
Posted By GPMG

Increased security measures at International...

Increased security measures at International airports meant that terrorists had to train in other methods of boarding an aircraft.

Looks like Mustafa may have failed the practical exam.
Showing results 1 to 33 of 33


 
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