Being a Pilots Wife
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Being a Pilots Wife
Hello,
My husband is now in the middle of following his dream of becoming a professional pilot. I have supported him in this since he began and it has not always been easy living almost as a single mother. I was wanting to know if there are other wifes out there who have experienced the same and would like to share their experience.
I am hoping that everything will be getting better with the flying industry after September 11th 2001 and that my husband will find a job as a pilot. Will life become any easier when he has finally found a job? Will I still need to live like a single mother or will he be oming home more often?
If anyone would like to contact me by e-mail I can be found on [email protected]
My husband is now in the middle of following his dream of becoming a professional pilot. I have supported him in this since he began and it has not always been easy living almost as a single mother. I was wanting to know if there are other wifes out there who have experienced the same and would like to share their experience.
I am hoping that everything will be getting better with the flying industry after September 11th 2001 and that my husband will find a job as a pilot. Will life become any easier when he has finally found a job? Will I still need to live like a single mother or will he be oming home more often?
If anyone would like to contact me by e-mail I can be found on [email protected]
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Well, I asked but she won't log on.
She says "it does get better but it depends on the job he finds. Some will have him gone a lot more than others. At least he'll be getting paid. For us flying long haul actually amounts to more time at home. And it is much more fun to go along for the ride, occasionally." (her words).
She says "it does get better but it depends on the job he finds. Some will have him gone a lot more than others. At least he'll be getting paid. For us flying long haul actually amounts to more time at home. And it is much more fun to go along for the ride, occasionally." (her words).
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Mrs Pups,
I spent two 2 year periods working abroad whilst my wife stayed at home, and although we didn't have a baby to look after (only 6 months to go before that happens though!!) I can appreciate the loneliness that goes with being apart from your loved ones. It's the time to just be together and talk about rubbish that I missed, during that time all our conversations were about serious stuff.... Anyway, it's important to remember that this time is a small part of your lives together, and testing though it is, it will get better.
When he gets his pilot job Mr Pups will be home most nights, with only perhaps 2 or 3 overnight stops a month, he will always be happy because he's doing a job that he loves, he'll have the money to lavish you with gifts nearly every day and Esmee will want for nothing!
Soon the difficult times will be a distant memory, stick with it Mrs Pups, it will be worth it! <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
I spent two 2 year periods working abroad whilst my wife stayed at home, and although we didn't have a baby to look after (only 6 months to go before that happens though!!) I can appreciate the loneliness that goes with being apart from your loved ones. It's the time to just be together and talk about rubbish that I missed, during that time all our conversations were about serious stuff.... Anyway, it's important to remember that this time is a small part of your lives together, and testing though it is, it will get better.
When he gets his pilot job Mr Pups will be home most nights, with only perhaps 2 or 3 overnight stops a month, he will always be happy because he's doing a job that he loves, he'll have the money to lavish you with gifts nearly every day and Esmee will want for nothing!
Soon the difficult times will be a distant memory, stick with it Mrs Pups, it will be worth it! <img src="smile.gif" border="0">
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I am in the same situation as your husband, no job joe, trying hard to find an airline job, and my wife lives about a 9 hour flight away from me.As she is a flt. attendant.So we only meet 1-2 times in a month, so be brave there lot us of out there.
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Snigs,
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but who are you kidding? "2 or 3 night stops a month"?
We do 2 or 3 nights stops most weeks, sometimes more.
Any jobs going at your place? <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
I don't want to be a wet blanket - but who are you kidding? "2 or 3 night stops a month"?
We do 2 or 3 nights stops most weeks, sometimes more.
Any jobs going at your place? <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
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Sweety, I would not be asking the question if I am wanting to find out myself. I would appreciate some realistical answers.
Sorry if my English is not very good.
Sorry if my English is not very good.
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Dear Mrs. Flypuppy,. .I can't give any of the answers to your questions, sorry about that.
What I do want to tell you is the fact that I often think of you and the way you support your husband in reaching out for his dream. . .I admire your courage and the love that makes you stand by him the way you do. Being in effect a single Mum is not easy, and even if little Esmee is a doll, she still is a small child with all the work and worries that go with child rearing. The sleepless night, the teething, the vaccinations and a million other small and big worries which are so much easier when you can share them with the child's Dad directly rather than by phone.
I think you are e very gutsy lady, and that in itself is something to be proud of!
Life with a person who is in love with aeroplanes is not easy. But as treveler says, it has it's rewards.. .I think Mr40 might have something to say on this particular subject since he's been married to a "flying-nut" for 17 years. I'll ask him when he gets home, OK?. .XXX. .J
What I do want to tell you is the fact that I often think of you and the way you support your husband in reaching out for his dream. . .I admire your courage and the love that makes you stand by him the way you do. Being in effect a single Mum is not easy, and even if little Esmee is a doll, she still is a small child with all the work and worries that go with child rearing. The sleepless night, the teething, the vaccinations and a million other small and big worries which are so much easier when you can share them with the child's Dad directly rather than by phone.
I think you are e very gutsy lady, and that in itself is something to be proud of!
Life with a person who is in love with aeroplanes is not easy. But as treveler says, it has it's rewards.. .I think Mr40 might have something to say on this particular subject since he's been married to a "flying-nut" for 17 years. I'll ask him when he gets home, OK?. .XXX. .J
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It really does depend on the employer. My wife has very strong opinions about mine - in particular, the level of disruption. There are some rewards. Before the children started school, I not only saw more of them than most of my male colleagues in other jobs saw of theirs, in fact I saw more of their children too! Sorry, that's not terribly good English either, but I hope you get the idea. Some seasons are very bad - lots of nightstops, particularly at weekends, lots of disruption making it impossible to make arrangements on anything other than days off, lack of roster notice. Some seasons are great - no nightstops, extra days off during the month, around most evenings.
Three key thoughts. "Happiness is a path, not a destination." "Employers these days don't think they exist for the benefits of employees." "Being a pilot is just a job. All jobs have their problems."
Three key thoughts. "Happiness is a path, not a destination." "Employers these days don't think they exist for the benefits of employees." "Being a pilot is just a job. All jobs have their problems."
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Mrs Flypuppy,. .being the wife of a pilot is not different from other professions. What matters is the man you married, what kind of man he is, if you love eachother and especially if you have the same goals in life. . .Of course the employer matters, too. But it matters over material things. They can make your life harder or easier, but still, what matters is the understanding between the two of you. . .Like all men, pilots must be loved the way they are. . .You did it until now, so don't be scared and think that he will be more relaxed once his career settled.. .Just think that pilots have wives, who are still living through their status without more moaning (or divorces) than other wives!. .Feel free to email me if you wish 
Flyblue
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Mrs Flypuppy,. .In this modern world single fathers also exist, and here is one who read your posting. On Pprune I am referred to as Mr. Forty, meaning I am married to FlapsForty and have been so for 17 years. She has been flying all this time and we have 2 kids, now 13 and 15. . .Being the one left at home while spouse is out working is not always easy, I am the first to admit. It requires a lot of you and you are left with lots of misery, decisions and thoughts alone.. .I think lots of people feel lonely even if they see each other everyday. And lots of mothers are left with the children and the everyday life-problems even if husbie "lives" at home, but works most of the time. But you have experienced the troublesome things, so let me cheer you up a bit and tell you about the nice things of being married to a flying fanatic. Because thats what we talk about, flying fanatic.
If you take the flying away from them (with them I mean they who do not fly because there is nothing else to do, but the ones who fly because they loooove it), you take the air they breath away from them, so that is not an option. Then they will die, and a dead spouse is no fun. So the first important rule is: Accept it, and it will become a lot better than it is now. Do not think about what it would be like if he was home every evening, because he won't be. What you will experience is that when he is home he will be a lot more home than a "normal" husband. Because he doesn't come home tired from work at 7 pm, no, he will be home all day. And since he has been away for a couple of days, he will be extra attentive to you and the children and be three times as good a father as one who leaves at 7 in the morning and comes home at 7 in the evening, stops by for dinner before he goes to the gym or the cafe with the boys. (Because he has already been out flying with the boys so he doesn't need that when he is home). .And when he comes home after some days away, he will be sincerely happy to see you!!!! He has missed you in a different way than he would have if he saw you at 7 the same morning. So will you! You have also missed him, and this is a perfect way to stay fond of each other, better than the 7 am to 7 pm routine. And when you have gotten used to this routine you will hopefully find out (I have) that being alone from time to time is not so bad after all. There are lots of things you do normally which annoy him and he will let you know. And in order to keep the peace you will stop doing it. When he is away you can do it!!!!!!! No one will tell you not to! . .By letting your husband do a job he really loves, you are more or less guaranteed to have a happier husband than someone who doesn't love his job.. .And then comes the real fun part. Kids grow up and they become big enough so that the whole family can go with him. When our kids' friends went to grandma and grandpa for holidays, our family went with mum to Kenya for a 3 day safari. All in business class for peanuts, hotel was paid for (because mummy stayed there for work) and in this way you get to experience things you wouldn't otherwise.
Mrs. Flypuppy, I think you are very brave posting this on a medium like pprune, filled with flyaholics as it is. I wouldn't dare. I have often thought that there should also be a forum for us who don't fly but have to stay at home. Mrs. Flypuppy, you may just have started a new forum (you read this Danny?)
Conclusion must be: It is better to be alone now and then while being married to a happy flyer who cooks dinner when he is home rather than seeing the same boring accountant coming home asking for his dinner at 7pm. everyday.
And to you flyaholics out there if you read this:. .We are the modern world's heroes putting up with you guys!
Mrs. Flypuppy, I think that was about it for the time being, but anytime you have a question or need an advice, pprune me and I will tell you about how I did that, because the experiences are probably very similar. Hang in there, I think you are being a brave women.
If you take the flying away from them (with them I mean they who do not fly because there is nothing else to do, but the ones who fly because they loooove it), you take the air they breath away from them, so that is not an option. Then they will die, and a dead spouse is no fun. So the first important rule is: Accept it, and it will become a lot better than it is now. Do not think about what it would be like if he was home every evening, because he won't be. What you will experience is that when he is home he will be a lot more home than a "normal" husband. Because he doesn't come home tired from work at 7 pm, no, he will be home all day. And since he has been away for a couple of days, he will be extra attentive to you and the children and be three times as good a father as one who leaves at 7 in the morning and comes home at 7 in the evening, stops by for dinner before he goes to the gym or the cafe with the boys. (Because he has already been out flying with the boys so he doesn't need that when he is home). .And when he comes home after some days away, he will be sincerely happy to see you!!!! He has missed you in a different way than he would have if he saw you at 7 the same morning. So will you! You have also missed him, and this is a perfect way to stay fond of each other, better than the 7 am to 7 pm routine. And when you have gotten used to this routine you will hopefully find out (I have) that being alone from time to time is not so bad after all. There are lots of things you do normally which annoy him and he will let you know. And in order to keep the peace you will stop doing it. When he is away you can do it!!!!!!! No one will tell you not to! . .By letting your husband do a job he really loves, you are more or less guaranteed to have a happier husband than someone who doesn't love his job.. .And then comes the real fun part. Kids grow up and they become big enough so that the whole family can go with him. When our kids' friends went to grandma and grandpa for holidays, our family went with mum to Kenya for a 3 day safari. All in business class for peanuts, hotel was paid for (because mummy stayed there for work) and in this way you get to experience things you wouldn't otherwise.
Mrs. Flypuppy, I think you are very brave posting this on a medium like pprune, filled with flyaholics as it is. I wouldn't dare. I have often thought that there should also be a forum for us who don't fly but have to stay at home. Mrs. Flypuppy, you may just have started a new forum (you read this Danny?)
Conclusion must be: It is better to be alone now and then while being married to a happy flyer who cooks dinner when he is home rather than seeing the same boring accountant coming home asking for his dinner at 7pm. everyday.
And to you flyaholics out there if you read this:. .We are the modern world's heroes putting up with you guys!
Mrs. Flypuppy, I think that was about it for the time being, but anytime you have a question or need an advice, pprune me and I will tell you about how I did that, because the experiences are probably very similar. Hang in there, I think you are being a brave women.
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Yes, I totally agree with you, flapsforty ! 
You described it perfectly.
As every profession, this job has ups & downs. It will be hard to start with, but after you get used to him leaving & coming back at strange times, you will find it very nice to have him home when other people would just dream about it!
I've noticed that after being apart for some time, we appreciate each other more, our relationship gets stronger etc..
Mrs Flypuppy, I think you are a wife every pilot would dream about! Good for both of you!
Yes, don't ever try to separate pilot and his
!!! <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
You described it perfectly.As every profession, this job has ups & downs. It will be hard to start with, but after you get used to him leaving & coming back at strange times, you will find it very nice to have him home when other people would just dream about it!
I've noticed that after being apart for some time, we appreciate each other more, our relationship gets stronger etc..
Mrs Flypuppy, I think you are a wife every pilot would dream about! Good for both of you!
Yes, don't ever try to separate pilot and his
!!! <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
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What a relief to read a serious thread with serious and helpful answers for a change.
Flying has got to be the most difficult of jobs for family relations - especially long range. The old man (for the sake of argument a man here) is away for a long time and the wife has to sort out everything in his absence - the car breaks - the kids have school problems - she has to fix it.
Then he comes home - dog tired and still with the last trip ringing in his ears - doesnt notice the extra nice dinner and just wants to sleep because the adrenaline has gone and the time lag has got him. Doesn't have the capacity to listen to all the news that his wife is just dying to tell him "and tomorrow the Smiths are coming for dinner..."
After a couple of days he's back to normal -starts noticing things - "actually I preferred the piano where we had it before" - unwittingly puts more of a strain on the relationship than when he's away.
It ain't easy - for either of you. If you can talk about these things together, so that you can understand the pitfalls before they occur then you have a better chance.
Oh and the stories about naughty crews away from home are usually a lot of baloney. You both need a lot of trust. Good luck.
Flying has got to be the most difficult of jobs for family relations - especially long range. The old man (for the sake of argument a man here) is away for a long time and the wife has to sort out everything in his absence - the car breaks - the kids have school problems - she has to fix it.
Then he comes home - dog tired and still with the last trip ringing in his ears - doesnt notice the extra nice dinner and just wants to sleep because the adrenaline has gone and the time lag has got him. Doesn't have the capacity to listen to all the news that his wife is just dying to tell him "and tomorrow the Smiths are coming for dinner..."
After a couple of days he's back to normal -starts noticing things - "actually I preferred the piano where we had it before" - unwittingly puts more of a strain on the relationship than when he's away.
It ain't easy - for either of you. If you can talk about these things together, so that you can understand the pitfalls before they occur then you have a better chance.
Oh and the stories about naughty crews away from home are usually a lot of baloney. You both need a lot of trust. Good luck.
Makes me feel quite guilty: <img src="redface.gif" border="0"> 4 yrs working overseas, 6 months on a course overseas, 5 to 10 day trips. Soddit! I'll do the washing up tonight! <img src="cool.gif" border="0">
Hey, Sweety, get those yaw dampers switched on <img src="eek.gif" border="0">
Hey, Sweety, get those yaw dampers switched on <img src="eek.gif" border="0">
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Thank you everyone for providing me with some very good viwepoints. Especially to Mr. Forty who makes a very good story. I have recieved a few e-mails as well and would like to thank those people for their views as well.
I will be holding on for a while longer until my husband has qualified, and the period between qualifying and getting a job is the most worrying now.
I will be holding on for a while longer until my husband has qualified, and the period between qualifying and getting a job is the most worrying now.
Apologies for confusing, Sweetie.. .Your 747-300 (or Japanese -400) logo is exhibiting some of the movements associated with an aerodynamic phenomenon known as 'Dutch roll'. .It's started by a swept wing aeroplane YAWING (nose swinging) so that one wing is presented to the airflow closer to 90 deg and the other wing makes an increasing angle with the airflow. 1st wing generates more lift; 2nd wing less and aircraft rolls towards 2nd BUT 1st wing generates more drag and swings aeroplane other way causing roll to reverse. This oscillatory (and divergent) motion continues and gets bigger until pilot does something about it or the aeroplane rolls on its back. <img src="eek.gif" border="0"> . .HOWEVER, we have a cunning device known as a YAW DAMPER which senses the yaw and applies just enough rudder to prevent the oscillation beginning in the first place.. .Phew! I hope you weren't joking after all that - I wish I'd kept my mouth shut in the first place! <img src="wink.gif" border="0"> . .ps: hope you can understand all that stuff - I certainly couldn't in a foreign language.
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Ok, Basil! My other half explained that yaw dampers thing, I just couldn't understand why you said so. <img src="confused.gif" border="0"> I had another look at the image, I understand it now. <img src="wink.gif" border="0"> Thank you for the explanation anyway!
<img src="wink.gif" border="0">
<img src="wink.gif" border="0">