Rules of the Air
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Rules of the Air
You may have already seen this, but it amused me
1. Every takeoff is optional.
Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the
houses get bigger.
If you pull the stick back, they get
smaller. That is, unless you keep
pulling the stick all the way back, then
they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is
what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here
wishing you were up there than up there
wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is
when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front
of the plane used to keep the pilot
cool. When it stops, you can actually
watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.
No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you
can walk away. A 'great' landing is one
after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You
won't live long enough to make all of
them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels
up if it takes full power to taxi to
the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is
inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. Large angle of arrival, small
probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you
somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining
everyone keeps talking about might be
another airplane going in the opposite
direction. Reliable sources also report
that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of
landings you make equal to the number
of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making
a smooth landing.Unfortunately no one
knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and
an empty bag of experience. The trick
is to fill the bag of experience before
you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so
ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is
ground that's going round and round and
all you can hear is commotion coming
from the passenger compartment, things
are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects
made of aluminium going hundreds of
miles per hour and the ground going
zero miles per hour, the ground has yet
to lose.
20. Good judgement comes from experience.
Unfortunately, the experience usually
comes from bad judgement.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the
pointy end going forward as much as
possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always
something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good
idea. It's the law.
And it's not subject to appeal.
24. The three most useless things to a
pilot are the altitude above you,
runway behind you, and a tenth of a
second ago.
1. Every takeoff is optional.
Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the
houses get bigger.
If you pull the stick back, they get
smaller. That is, unless you keep
pulling the stick all the way back, then
they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is
what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here
wishing you were up there than up there
wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is
when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front
of the plane used to keep the pilot
cool. When it stops, you can actually
watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.
No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you
can walk away. A 'great' landing is one
after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You
won't live long enough to make all of
them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels
up if it takes full power to taxi to
the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is
inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. Large angle of arrival, small
probability of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you
somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining
everyone keeps talking about might be
another airplane going in the opposite
direction. Reliable sources also report
that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of
landings you make equal to the number
of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making
a smooth landing.Unfortunately no one
knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and
an empty bag of experience. The trick
is to fill the bag of experience before
you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so
ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is
ground that's going round and round and
all you can hear is commotion coming
from the passenger compartment, things
are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects
made of aluminium going hundreds of
miles per hour and the ground going
zero miles per hour, the ground has yet
to lose.
20. Good judgement comes from experience.
Unfortunately, the experience usually
comes from bad judgement.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the
pointy end going forward as much as
possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always
something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good
idea. It's the law.
And it's not subject to appeal.
24. The three most useless things to a
pilot are the altitude above you,
runway behind you, and a tenth of a
second ago.
