EU English Test
 

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."

Frequent

Thanks so much for this post. I don't remember laughing so much by myself for years !!! What a riot :ok:

If that's the airline I am thinking about, I remember reading an article a couple of years back where they were forbidding their employees to charge their mobile phone within the compagny premises beacuse it was costing the compagny too much !!!!
If you're thinking about a fast growing low cost airline that doesn't use orange as a colour......................then yes, it has to come from high up. The bloke is certified fruit cake.

Frequent.....ABZOLUTELY BRILLANT!!!!!
:ok:

Oh boy
 

I would really like to see your employer trying to defend their decision in ANY European country.

"We fired him for speaking Spanish/Swaheli/Latin" is really going to go down well with the Judges.

And adding "Look: it sez in his Contract: got to speak proper English, like wot we does" isn't going to stop the Judges from tearing their heads off.

OORW

Frequent...

Your post is a masterpiece and my sides are aching from laughter...Thanks :)

And first seen about 20 years ago.

Errrrrrrrrr !! Isn't there a sprinkle of contradiction there ??? You mean you don't care as long it's english don't you ?

One calls that cutural diversity, a concept some have trouble warming to.
Sense of insecurity ?? .........a good therapist can take care of that in.........roughly 9 sessions covered by NHS if you're refered by your GP.


Frequent

I just read your post once more and I have to stop for now. My belly aches too much.

This is nothing short of racial intolerance...

I wasn't aware that the English language was a race.

Contrary to what some have posted there is no legal problem with imposing English, or any other language, as the working language in any private company in any country in the EU.

As Farrel rightly points out, when you are working with a group of internationals the correct language has to be established from the outset, everyone must understand what is being said and I think everybody agrees on the need for a common language policy.

However, banning the use of another language for social chats by the coffee machine or in the company restaurant is asking for trouble, to start with it's poor management to even try and impose such a policy and , secondly, it can be argued that it infringes all sorts of european conventions.

I work in a organisation where our working language is different from our host country. To be honest it's a non-issue, we are many nationalities and most of us are polite enough to speak the common language in social situations but there are always occasions when the French will speak French, the Germans speak German and the Italians Italian.

I think its about time some people on here dragged themselves out of the dark ages, and realised that people talking a different language from ourselves arnt plotting to blow us up, kill us, or just steal our lunch when we arnt looking, nor are they commenting on our new hairstyle etc etc etc.....

Whilst in any industry, not just aviation, one would expect the language in the workplace to be that of the location, unless otherwise stated, which is fine.

What I am intrigued by however is why is it such a big problem??? Why have we had over 50 posts on this matter when quite frankly.....who cares.

What it boils down to is respect for people whom you work with or work for.

I speak 4 different languages thanks to my job - when I am in Italy talking to an Itallian I will speak Italian out of respect it makes no odds to me and it shouldnt to you either. If that person was Engligh, I would speak English.

Im sure if you address your concerns to your employer you might actually find it was more of a request rather than an order, Rather than voicing your concerns on here where your obviously s**t scared to say who your employers are, and no-one really knows the ins and outs of the request/order etc.

With all these regional accents in Britain, I find some very difficult to understand. Perhaps a restriction to the Queen's english or North American English please. Anything else would be....uncivilized.:ok::ok::ok:

The reason there are over fifty posts on this thread is because someone threw in the 'RACE' word and other derivatives, that automatically will open about twenty boxes of posters who have little other interest!;)

Just take a look at the thread about BA pilots being accused of casual racism.

It's brilliant if your flight deck mate can perform PA's in multiple languages, can be bloody useful sorting pax issues out and can add hugely to the operation as a consequence.

If your non-UK mate chats to his/her mates at any time and you don't understand it then so what. We Brits can be so cryptically insulting in our own tongue anyway.

What is relevant and important here is that your colleague who is working for a UK AOC MAINTAINS and COMPLETELY COMPREHENDS to a high standard the English Spoken Language. This is so we can work out what the problem is, generate options and deal with it effectively. SOP 'grunting' is the easy part and a robot can do it.

Interesstingly all the ones in favor of the regulation at the threadstarters company happen to be native english speakers. With comments like "take it as an opportunity" a severe breach of your rights get brushed off. This is not racist, it is discriminating.

I can't even begin to imagine if any of the native english speakers were forced by their company to speak only german. Man, this thread would be full of Nazi analogies, accusations of dictatorship and the like. But as it is English that is to be spoken, it feels quite all right to have it forced onto a group of people who have decided to speak spanish on their lunchbreak.

Try putting yourselves into someone elses shoes from time to time, it really widens the horizon...

I swore to myself to never use those stupid smilies, but today I have to put one in:

:ugh:

Nic

Professionally I have to communicate in English all the time; Socially the same, either as a necessity or as a matter of politeness towards others.

In both cases the only time I indulge myself in using my native Portuguese is when I curse :E It doesn't sound as bad and others seem to enjoy it ...just like the last time I’ve touched a server rack and got a nice static electrical shock
:mad:

Skydrol_Leak





Yup!! That would be most weird considering Kiswahili does not get spoken very much further afield than the East African nations!!


:}

Admiral, you may be right. The fact of the matter is native English speakers were born lucky, their mother toungue just happens to be the the language which is often used as a common cummunicator. Hence only a small minority have learned an a additional language

If you want a career on the FD or as a customer facing staff member in the aviation industry then it's made clear from day one that you need a certain level of aptitude in the English language and I don't think anyone would disagree with that. Trying to change and impose language policy in coffee machine chats is clearly poor management and a perfect example of how to rile and alienate your workforce. I'm not sure where the airline/airport industry find a lot of their managers, especially middle level, but it's clear they aren't hanging around the gates at Harvard and Oxford looking for recruits....

That's got to be the understatement of the year. It's been nearly 20 years since I came into commercial aviation from the military, thinking I would make my way into management myself. Being an ex-officer, it seemed to me to be the obvious way to go. I was soon enlightened. Whilst there are some sharp cookies around in aviation/airline management, a depressing number I have come across would not even make competent NCOs so lacking are they in any concept of real leadership and in any ability rapidly to analyse a problem and find a solution. And don't get me started on the way they mangle the English language. :*

Sadly there is a great myth in commercial aviation that trainers will make good managers, forgone conclusion.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Managers need to be professionally trained as such. Trainers are one level of authority above a line captain and that one level does not constitute or substitute for proper management training. I can count on the fingers of one hand the trainers I know who have gone into management and succeeded, most others were on a personal advancement exercise or ego trip.

There is no alternative to professional management training and successful management requires inbred aptitude just as much as flying does. Simply being an ex commissioned officer doesn't even start to cover it.

Okay Mike76 We have worked out your Ailrine !! Its got to be AIR FRANCE

It was obvious the French would eventualy realise English was the way to go !!:ok::ok: