Shy Torque
Don't be so impatient!
Ho Lung Chun answers difficult questions immediately, the impossible ones take a little longer.
He said he was going away for a week. I don't know whether that's to study for his 'R22 Captaincy upgrade', or to think about your questions.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Heliport

I have almost finished my R22 copilot exams, can you give me some tips for my captaincy upgrade in 2004?

And one other thing...is a frogs bum watertight? If so, does my boss realise he is carrying a frogs bum in his back pocket? Maybe my boss has a thing for frogs bums yes?

Gadzooks, Heliport,

You're right, I am an impatient Shytorque.

I withdraw my impatienceness immediately on grounds of flight safety. I don't want the poor chap worrying about my questions while he should be concentrating on keeping one of those R-22 thingys airborne.....

p.s. Anybody else help out with the answers?;)

Ho Lung Chun

? why do I have problems spelling Dyslexia

Max,
Ever go to a toga party dressed as a goat?

Something I have always pondered

'Are lovers on a hill inclined?'

and why does 'traffic calming' make me angry?

One Hung Low
 

I still want to know how you get seedless grapes ? I also would like to know how come the really good looking chicks go out with the fat fuc-ing ugly guys..

Why when you hit your elbow and it hurts like hell.. why do they call it the funny bone,,,,

:D

Helicopterman,


You get seedless grapes from a seedless grape plant.

Good looking chicks go out with ugly guys because we're fun to be with.

It's called the funny bone because humerous is too big a word for skinny beautiful men with ugly girlfriends.

The word helicopter is derived from two Greek words: HELIX (referring to SPIRAL) and PTERON (referring to WING). Hence, 'SPIRAL WING' or HELICOPTER.

What we really need to know is if all pilots have to sit down for a p1ss?:eek:

I'm back.
Ha ha, there are many clever and interesting questions, but mostly stupid ones.
Some of you have been emailing me your questions. Here is a small sample, but don't worry I will change your name to avoid embarrassment.

"George" Lappos (not his real name) wrote:

Ho Lung Chun, thank you for your help with the S92 gearbox problem. Your suggestion worked. Now I am having trouble designing the cup holders. The cups keep falling through. Help!

Ho Lung Chun sez:
Make the hole smaller or get bigger cups...derrr.

Lou Zuckernmann (not the correct spelling to preserve anonymity) wrote:
Mr Ho Lung Chun Sir,
Thank you for explaining to me about the 18 degree offset and the design features of the Robinson. I now realise what a fantastic helicopter the Robbie is. I was so wrong!! When I was a barrel boy on a whaling ship in 1822....

Dave Jackson (yes this is his real name. He is being outed for always posing annoying and irrelevant aerodynamics questions) wrote:
I have a question concerning gyroscopic precession, and here it is:
Imagine a really strong, buff, man like "The Rock" (not his real name) were to grab me by both hands and swing me rapidly round in a circle so that his body was like the vertical axis of a gyroscope and my body was horizontal to the ground with my feet prescribing the circumference of a circle. My questions is:

a).Is this technically known as a 'dizzy- whizzy" or an "aeroplane ride?"
B) If he let go of my hands would my body fly off at a tangent or at right angles to his body?

Ho Lung Chun sez:
a). It's technically a dizzy-whizzy because he is holding both hands. An aeroplane ride is where he holds an arm and a leg.
b). Try this experiment and report back to me with the results ha, ha!

Shaun S (not his full surname but it sounds like a condiment - not Trojan ha ha ha!) wrote:

Ho Lung Chun, ever since I saw your smooth, hairless body in the showers of California Fitness I have thought about nothing else. My question is, do you wax or shave?
Ho Lung Chun sez:
Neither.

Hone22 (that can't be his real name can it?), in answer to your question:
Yes, I do think you should change your login name to Captainhone22.

this last post just made my day,
thank you my friend.:D

ROTFLMFAO :D :D :D

Very nice !

RW-1 approves. :D

:D :D :D

Ho Lung Chun
I'm sure you've already received more awards in your distinguished career than you've had dim sum dinners, but your last post must have strengthened your already strong position as favourite for Rotorheads' "Star of the Orient Award" for the funniest post that's ever appeared on the forum. :D

I only wish I hadn't read it just before some clients arrived to discuss a rather serious case. :rolleyes:

Thanks for keeping me smiling all day.
And keep 'em coming! :)

How come walking up to women in bars and announcing that I am a helicopter pilot doesn't get me laid?
Is it because I don't fly the heavies or because I don't wear any pants? Any advice is much appreciated, as I value my eyesight highly.

eyetest.;)

Barannfin,

How come my wife couldn't read that?

Wun Hung Lo,

Why is the moon upside down in the Northern Hemisphere?
Are Jets really for Kids?

Good One Barannfin,

Looked a real D!ckhead walking backwards across the office staring at my computer. :rolleyes:

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

ho lung chun,

been much more than a week...so my question is:

Did you get your captaincy upgrade?

(actually, as you may have guessed with that superior intellect of yours, I am only midly intrested, BUT I didnt want this thread to die so quickly!)