what's the most stupid thing a passenger has done?
 

any stories from anyone?

eg interferring with flight controls? dropping things out the doosr? spilling drinks?

I had one die mid-sector; that's pretty daft!:(

doing a spot of tourism one day - a blisteringly hairy armippeted do-gooder from down south rejoined my usual patter about the scenery the aboriginal history etc with a - "yes but we owe them lots" !!!!

Another day a verrrrry swish fair lady dropped a verrry expensive earing on the floor which promplty rolled out into 200' of crocodile infested water from 800'.

The best I have seen i think is one day two of us were mustering years ago. early eighties it was, - mate calls up very excited - "well fair dainkum come and have a look at this, this stupid bastard (his middle aged pax) has threatened to spew, so I tells him, you spew - you clean"

I get - over there - shortly, there he is the pax, sitting up fat dumb and a stupid look on his face, just like he had when we took off at daylight.

'what's the deal?' says I.

Well - mate says, it's too late he's already gone through the white, grey, green, spectrum, decides he HAS to spew - pulls his hat orff and chunders into it then being pretty dumb and not knowing what to do with the hat - like - yeah like puts it back on-- little dribbles of spew coming down past his temples, I could then see.

I left

Tired and emotional passenger at Epsom decided he doesn't want to go home by helicopter yet so he gets out. Sadly, decision made while helicopter in 6ft hover. Oops!

I think you'll find he was pushed:(

santa
 

many moons ago, flying in Canada, the company only had bell 47's, one of the pilots was tasked to take Santa to a shopping Mall where a gaggle of kids were waiting in anticipation to meet Santa.

Santa arrived at the base and was given instructions on how to leave the helicopter rotors turning as it had to leave for another task.
After many dry runs and words of advice because of his 6ft 4 inch stature,the 47 flapped towards the Mall. (I was not the pilot).

They landed in a large carpark close to where the children and mothers were waiting, now full of excitement seeing Santa duck out of his red and white flying machine.

He walked out to the edge of the disk, and with great gusto, threw his arm in the air and with a ho ho ho the blade took his hand off at the wrist and deposited it into the crowd of now screaming children and fainting mothers:eek:

There's the tale of the passenger who exited the 206 with the blades turning. The pilot forgot to tell her not to walk up the hill right next to the helicopter. She walked right into the blades.

Darn 212man....I knew you scared folks with your flying but I never guessed it was that bad!

Question....did you amend the Mass and Balance documentation to reflect cargo in a pax seat? Also...how did you get around the prohibition on having cargo in the passenger compartment? Surely, there was a Hazmat issue to be addressed as well?

Errrrr....radio calls....POB change without landing....that must have drove the PHC Airwork crazy!

Hong Kong, late 80's. Flying a Scout (doors off as usual), with Gurkhas abseiling on a FIBUA (Fighting In Built Up Area) exercise.

Four of them jumped off, two at a time each side as planned. I flew away and as I turned I saw them all lying on the ground motionless.

I then got a call to return, pick them up and take them to hospital as they were all injured, having forgotten to tie off before jumping !!

Elite fighting force :ugh:

Hauled a fellow who liked to chew Beechnut chewing tobacco. Big Mike was just that....looked like a Cotton Bale with the center tie busted....huge man. Getting him into the front seat of a MD-500 was some feat....getting him out was a bigger trick.

Enroute over the Cascade Mountains near Snoqualamie Pass east of Seattle we encountered a wee bit of turbulence caused by the 25-35 knot winds as a cold front passed through. (I know...should not have been there but despite my pleading, whining, and crying..."We just absolutely got to be there for the meeting...won out over commonsense.)

As we scurried up the Green River canyon, Mike started looking about as green as the Fir tree tops and began burping. Ever seen a Hippo burp? At that time I noticed he had done the chipmunk bit with the wad of chew and he was beginning to regret it.

Passing over the metropolitan downtown area Lester, about halfway up the canyon, the road got rough and upon surviving a nasty bump I heard a sickening sound of Big Mike trying to move the wad from its new location somewhere in the middle of his goozle.

Knowing what a nice man and dear friend he was I was in a real dilemna. As much as I would hate to lose him from choking, I considered it the better of the two choices, that being him choking or chundering. The image of Big Mike holding a standard issue Air Sickness Bag in front of his face and knowing how that would play out was a chilling thought. Big Mike was dark green, sweating buckets, and making noises that still make me shudder.
The next fifteen minutes it took to land outside the Number Nine Pub (where the Northern Exposure TV show was filmed) took a life time. Most of us enjoyed a nice lunch while Big Mike conversed over the Great White Telephone with some guy named Earl about a Buick.

As a result of this educational experience, I made a few changes in my helicopter and procedures.

First thing was installing a new warning placard that read "Masticators Of Worm Dirt Shall Fully Expectorate Prior To Closing Doors!

The other was to throw out all of the standard sized Chunder Sacks and replace them with 50 Gallon Bin Liners....a size that should accomodate even Big Mike.

Carrying out a troop insertion in the Belize jungle with a certain group of people that we don't mention. Had a senior member of said group in left hand seat as he wanted to recce the area as we looked for a suitable landing site. Just coming to a high hover (about 100 feet) inside a clearing when the LHS passenger decided it was time to get out.

Without saying anything he took off his headset, unstrapped and began to climb over the jumpseat into the cabin.

Problem was, the cyclic was in his way - so he just pushed it hard to the left and for good measure gave it a backwards kick as he vacated the seat. The aircraft rolled left and then forwards and down towards the trees. He suddenly realised what he had done and froze, hanging onto the the broom cupboard corner - and ME. I elbowed him very hard across the back of his legs and he let me go. It was VERY close to a disaster.

He did apologise afterwards.

Not as bad as a colleague's incident. He was carrying out a night insertion exercise with a stick of troops in the back. The crewman opened one of the doors at 200 feet on the approach, as per the SOP. As he moved across the cabin to open the second door, the soldiers began shouting. He turned around to see a vacant seat and horrified looks from the remaining soldiers. Their CO, a Major, who had been asleep by all accounts, had woken up, immediately unstrapped and walked out of the door into the night.

Sas/212man,

A bit off thread, but you guys may remember a certain American mutual friend of ours in Warri (I think he was Chief Pilot Shell at the time) who used to chew the Worm Dirt while flying.

He needed to "expectorate" (nice turn of phrase Sas) in the cruise, so he stuck his head out the window of a 212 and spat, only to have the slipstream (yes, you get that even in a 212) suck it back directly in to the face of the right hand forward facing passenger. :D

Needless to say, said passenger was less than impressed and complained to Big Brother (Shell) when he got off. Nothing happened though. Can't think why.

Aaah, memories are just great. Shame there aren't too many REALLY good ones :sad:

I was on a trial flight with a strange Asian Boy. Throughout the flight he had been a little funny but not done anything too unusual. As part of the flight we had of course covered handover of controls etc. At the end of the flight I demostraighted an Autorotation, Much to my surprise at about 300 AGL this guy decides to grab on to all 3 controls and lock every mussle in his body. Even when I yelled at him he still held strong! In the end I just had to over power him and finish auto with him fighting the whole time (Lucky for me he was a little fellow).
As you can imagine I was not to impressed and when trying to explain that he just about killed us he just started laughing. It was not untill I had landed the machine and told him to stop laughing and pay attention that he actually listened as I firmly told him never to grab controls on ANYTHING whilst someone else is in control.
After that I had to cover Hovering with him which was about as much fun.

Later on that day one of the other pilots found him sitting in the AS350 playing with switches and told him to piss off! Only one hour later to find him in it again this time asleep in the back seats.

We came to the conclussion that he was not quite all there!!

:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

I was doing a post servicing test flight on a Black Hawk (aircraft engineer) with my avionics counterpart when the pilot complained that the RH cargo door was unlocked (we were at about 3500'). The avionics lad (who didn't close the door properly in the first place) unbuckled from the RH Loadmasters seat, went down the back and knelt next to the door. Rather than just push it closed, he fully opened it then slammed it shut, scaring the **** out of me and the pilot in the front. All we herd was a sudden rush of air, a loud bang followed by a loss of comms and visual with the avionics lad! Needless to say he received another arsehole after we landed. On another flight over Brisbane many moons ago, another avionic guy was sitting in the RH loadmasters seat again taking photo's during a flypast when he accidently dropped his lens cover out the window. He quickly put his head out the window to see were it went and lost his headset for the effort.

NEO, you and I know each other. I was there when that happened (Hong Kong that is).

PM on it's way.

Drag him out.
 

Doing joy flights at a school fete with some other low hour pilots. Woman comes up with teenage son who suffers autism or similar and wants to go for a fly. We put him in the back (R44) with her and brief the pilot. Mum reckons the lad will be under control. Off they go.
Pilot takes off and does very short circuit and lands. Two of us walk out see the face on the pilot as he picks boots and socks off his head. The teenage pax had taken his boots and socks off and started throwing them around the R44! :eek: Lad was luaghing and having a great time. Mum says that he often strips when he is having fun (Don't we all??)

Mum coaxed the son out and two of us lifted and carried him away from the machine. (Helps when you've got a copper and ex-soldier working together, wink, nod, drag!)

The pilot left with the front seat passenger for a more enjoyable flight and to settle his nerves...

scenic flight
 

I had an American ex Viet vet naval skyhawk pilot climb into the pilots seat, buckle up and began to "fiddle" with things while I loaded the horrified Pax in the back. He realised what was wrong as i climbed into the co pilots seat and couldnt appologize enough. I was a little nervous after that.

I haven't had any really stupid passengers, but I had one that as we were coming in to land in order to deliver a Teddy Bear holding an engagement ring, he decided to open the door and jump to the grass with the bear, when I still had about 8 feet of altitude and was still moving forward considerably, The only thing was he didn't tell me he was goint to do it. Everyone was really excited and there was a big party going on with lots of girls in there so I guess he wanted to play stuntman, which BTW got him the goodies later that afternoon. :)

During a practice auto in an R22, my young CFI decided to daydream and leaned on his side of the T-cyclic.

As a student pilot at the time doing autos was scary enough, but to have your instructor daze out on you like that too? I was wondering why we were pitching forward so much when I realized he was leaning on the cyclic. I left elbowed him a good one. I wont name names. :}

Da Monk

crispy 69,

this kid didnt go training as a pilot did he??

Flash Git - or what
 

Many moons ago during my days operating offshore, single pilot on the Bell 212, a colleague experienced a particularly stupid passenger.
While conducting inter-rig shuttles, we were permitted to carry a passenger in the LHS if the alternative was to make one more flight to pick up the extra passenger. However, said passenger had to be a "responsible" person (such as a manager etc) and had to receive an individual safety briefing from the pilot.
My colleague was conducing an inter-rig shuttle at night and on his last flight ended up with a "responsible" passenger in the LHS.
All went well until the on short finals to the rig when there was a very bright flash in the cockpit which all but blinded the pilot. He turned away from the rig and went around to assess what was going on, at the same time blinking furiously as he tried to get his eyes sorted out.
As he looked to his left, the "responsible" passenger who was now holding a camera said "That'll make a good one for the album Captain............."

NEO, yes I do! Also, I guess the passengers that Bob Holly picked up in his 355 could be classed as pretty stupid;)

SASless, we didn't realise until we landed (332L). Annoyingly, by the time we' got him off and sorted out our plan of action, my breakfast had gone cold:uhoh:

as they say;

"never underestimate the stupidity of a tourist (passenger)"

for some reason they all loose their facalties!

Out of all the hijackings in Nigeria oil operations....Bob is the only guy that figured out how to properly handle the situation! Shame he is so smooth on the controls however.:ok:

A colleague of mine related the following when he was flying Bell 47s in Northern Canada. They were flying local residents (to be politically correct) between two communities that in spring were separated by a wide, ice-flow filled river. The trips were all paid by the local authority, so anyone could ride. Frequently the passengers were well past the stage of inebriation, and were set in the back seat of these particular models of the Bell 47.
One of his fellow pilots didn't come back from a short ferry flight, and when they found the wreckage, it appeared one of the locals had brained the pilot from behind with a liquor bottle. Neither survived the crash.
Another reason to where helmets???

1/2 mile high
 

this may start an international incident!!
I was tasked to carry out a pleasure flight in Dubai, in a 206, for a Saudi prince who was on holiday!!!

When I arrived he was standing with his body guards and a cracking bit of totty, who I discovered later was an egyption lady of the night.

Because of the vip nature of the flight, the ops manager drove over to get them in the back and wait till I got back.

At that time you could fly were ever you liked, so I decided to give them a comprehensive tour.

As we flew over places of interest, I started to give my best comentary of the buildings and areas below.
After about 5 minutes of this, and no reply or interest came over the headset, I turned around to speak to my two passengers.(they left the body guards on the ground).

The said Prince had his trousers down to his knees and thankfully I could not see anything else as the young ladies head was moving in his lap!

I left them in peace, and on our return, it took the ops manager a good minute to untangle the young ladies long curley hair from the headset cord!!

Guess what the ops managers first question was when I returned to base?

7balja01
 

The guy wanted to be a commercial pilot but was choosing between fixed wing and Helo's.

Much to my relief about a week later he informed me he was taking the plank path. Boy were we happy.

Feel sorry for the instructor that got him!!!

Crispy

The stupidest thing a passenger has done?
Got in the helicopter.........................:}

Hey CYHeli, I remember that day well with that nuffy kid. Still laugh about it today. Shoes and socks flying around the cockpit and the look on the pilots face said it all. :eek: Your right tho, dragging him out was fun lol.

Never mind stupid things that pax do, how about the solo Gazelle pilot who thought it'd be fun to drop a smoke grenade out the message chute behind the front seats, only to discover that the transponder now occupied the hole.

Pretty colour, orange.

Rolled in on final in a helo assault once. Some unnamed (thank gawd) idiot in the back drops a CS riot "softball" grenade. The one that throws powder, not gas..... instant argh 'cause the stuff sticks. Kick right ball, drop the ramp and try not to wipe yer eyes. Sorry co-fish, it's coming yer way. Land, dump the pax, and launch. Cough and sneeze a lot and fly it out sideways.

The rear crew wanted a strafing run after that. On our pax... and maybe me in retrospect.

Stupid pilots?
 

I heard this second-hand a long time ago, so cannot vouch for its accuracy.

Many moons ago, a young 206 pilot was asked to drop a huge bag of ping-pong balls over a crowd at a show. A couple of the balls had special numbers or marks on them and the lucky finder would get a prize.
The balls were held in a bag, much like that used for aerial fire-fighting, the intention being to pull the release whilst climbing gently over the crowd.
The pilot decided to bring a bit more excitement into the event and went into autorotation towards the crowd.............. intending to open the bag once recovery to the climb had been achieved...............pulled the bag open too early and ingested dozens of balls into the engine intakes with disastrous consequences......................

Anybody else out there able to substantiate this one, including location etc. Possibly in the early 80's

Met many daft ones over the years, anyone just getting in a helo with someone who looks like me needs their bumps feeling.

The stupidest one was the very tired and emotional chap at a very well known horse racing meeting in the UK who pulled an engine back on me, at night in bad weather heading towards some very large hills.

Instant sobriety for the rest of the pax, and a huge blood loss from the dipstick in the left seat from nose and lips. The remainder of the flight was conducted in stony silence and the lads in the back had a wip round and gave me a £500 tip:E

The saddest was the chap who hired a 355 for a flight over London so he could propose and then bottled it. You could cut the discomfort with a knife, she obviously knew what he wanted to do and was waiting, he poor chap was terrified. Sympathy is not something I often feel but in this case I felt like taking him up again so he could try again:sad:

Fings passengers do
 

a good few years ago when BA Helis were operating Boeing BV234 (Civ Chinook over the north sea for shell.
we had an inflight incident when the female cabin attendant discovered one of the passengers with his survival suit unzipped .As she was advising him to reseal his suit she noticed that his trouser zip was also undone and that his hands were busy "Pleasuring himself!!"
on arrival in Aberdeen he was escorted from the aircraft by an officer of the law accompanied by a round of applause and whistles from the other 43 passengers.

Did you see the cartoon that came out afterwards?

BA helicopter with rig workers getting on, with BA hostie at the door speaking to said workers, the caption read "W$%nking or non W&nking sir"?
Does anyone still have a copy?

The most stupid thing a passenger has done...
 

... drinking too many beers the night before he got into our 407 with 5 additional passengers to go on a sightseeing trip. Took him about 3 minutes before he started to puke all over the place and another 17 minutes to go... :ooh:

Had a guy jump out over the GOM at 500 ft once. We always figured it was because my control ain't that smooth.:\

Stupid things
 

While flying skydivers in a Beech 18, we had an observer riding along for the ride down. As some on here know, the ride down is a 2 G maneuver in a steep bank turn to increase the rate of decent and save fuel and money.

The passenger started complaining about ear pain. I told her to hold her nose and blow, which was the quickest and easiest way to explain valsalva. I was immediately tapped on the shoulder by the rider and she complained that it was not working. Turning, I saw her most dedicated efforts at holding her nose and, lips pursed as in a whistle, blowing for all she was worth.

I laughed so hard I had difficulty getting out the words "with your mouth closed."

:E