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rogerthatone 7th Jan 2000 09:45

Australian Navy Seasprites
 
Kaman SH-2G(A) Super Seasprite for Australia Begins Initial Flight Testing
January 6, 2000 12:13 PM EST


BLOOMFIELD, Conn., Jan. 6 /PRNewswire/ -- (Nasdaq: KAMNA) The production prototype SH-2G(A) Super Seasprite helicopter for the Royal Australian Navy has begun initial flight tests at Kaman Aerospace Corp's. headquarters here.

http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20000106/NYTH091-a

http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20000106/NYTH091-b

The aircraft is the first of 11 multi-mission SH-2G(A) aircraft being built for the Royal Australian Navy. Kaman Chief Test Pilot George Haliscak said, "The initial test objective is to test the dynamic components and instrumentation to make sure everything is working properly. The flights have gone very well so far and the aircraft has performed as expected."

Haliscak said flight testing will continue with a progressive buildup of the flight envelope and a staged expansion of the avionics capability. "We are taking a phased approach to incorporating the avionics complement which puts safety first and allows pilots and engineers to comparatively evaluate new systems as they come on line," he said.

When delivered early in 2001, the SH-2G(A) Super Seasprite will be the most advanced intermediate maritime helicopter available. "This aircraft employs avionics, sensors, weapons and mission systems that are comparable to those found on the most advanced rotorcraft flying today," said Frank Widmann, Kaman's vice president for program management.

Integrated Tactical Avionics System
It will include an Integrated Tactical Avionics System (ITAS) being developed by Litton Guidance and Control Systems. The system will contain four active matrix liquid crystal color multi-function displays, two smart data entry units with liquid crystal color displays, and two redundant mission data processors. Hands on collective and cyclic stick controls and a multi- slew controller are interfaced with ITAS to provide a robust human-machine interface. The high level of automation provided by the onboard computer systems and advanced avionics will allow a two-person crew to successfully perform the missions of the SH-2G(A) during day, night and adverse weather conditions and provide effective sea control over a large area.

Haliscak said the prototype aircraft currently has two of the four display screens installed alongside standard cockpit instrumentation to allow comparative digital and analog information to be evaluated. Full installation of the ITAS hardware will occur in the first quarter of 2000, and software integration and test will continue throughout the year.

Advanced Composite Main Rotor
The Australian SH-2G(A) will also be equipped with advanced technology Composite Main Rotor Blades. The new composite blade is designed for longer life and greater damage tolerance. It also provides a significant performance increase that translates into increased payload, extended range and greater time on station.

Automatic Flight Control System
The aircraft features a digital Automatic Flight Control System (AFCS) which provides it the capability to fly through an automatic approach to a ship or airfield and to conduct automatic flight patterns such as for search-and-rescue. It also maintains set heading, altitude, and airspeed for point-to-point navigation, and includes an automatic hover hold capability. The AFCS is integrated with two redundant Litton LN100 embedded GPS inertial systems, which provide a highly accurate and reliable navigation solution.

The Australian Super Seasprite will operate from the Royal Australian Navy's eight ANZAC-class frigates and has the capability to also operate from other frigates and air-capable support ships. The SH-2G(A)'s primary role is to function as a force multiplier and increase a ship's effectiveness by significantly expanding surveillance capability, providing over-the-horizon warning, targeting and engagement of potential threats, and contributing to the ship's combat capabilities.

In addition, the aircraft will be capable of conducting anti-surface and anti-submarine warfare, search-and-rescue missions, medical evacuations and utility roles. Key systems included in the SH-2G(A) are the Telephonics APS 143B(V)3 radar with ISAR capability, the Raytheon AAQ-27 (3FOV) FLIR, the Elisra AES-210 Electronics Support Measure suite, and a Link 11 system being developed by Litton. Weapons include the Kongsberg Penguin missile and the Raytheon MK-46 torpedo.

Kaman Aerospace Corp. is a subsidiary of Kaman Corp. of Bloomfield, Conn. In addition to the SH-2G Super Seasprite, Kaman manufactures the K-MAX(R) external lift helicopter, is a major subcontractor for commercial and military aircraft, and a leader in electro-optics and other advanced technology products. SOURCE Kaman Aerospace Corp.

Bzulu 18th Oct 2003 21:01

Australian Navy Seasprites
 
October 18, 2003

THE navy today accepted the first of 11 Seasprite helicopters for use aboard the Anzac frigates.

But it will be more than a year before they are able to use their full range of weapons and sensors.

Defence Minister Robert Hill and navy chief Vice Admiral Chris Ritchie today welcomed the handover, conducted at HMAS Albatross, Nowra, on the NSW south coast, where the navy's 805 Squadron and the Seasprites will be based.

Senator Hill said the new helicopters would be the primary anti-surface weapons systems for the navy's eight Anzac frigates with six aircraft deployed at sea at any time.

"The helicopters will be equipped with a sophisticated suite of sensors and weapons including the capability to fire the Penguin anti-ship missile and to deliver the Mark 46 anti-submarine torpedo, making ir arguably the most advanced maritime helicopter in the world," he said.

Senator Hill said the handover of the helicopters would mean the navy could now start training in advance of delivery of the full weapons system capability from the end of next year.

It's excepted they will enter service from mid-2005.

The Seasprites, ordered from US company Kaman in 1997, have had a difficult birth with delivery delayed because of problems in developing the advanced computer software to operate the weapons system.

There was also controversy when it emerged the navy was buying refurbished airframes with some actually built in the mid-1960s.

Seasprite project director Captain Mark Campbell said they were effectively new-built helicopters and were fully certified for 10,000 hours flying.

"This will be a tremendous capability for the navy and ADF," he said.

"It is going to be able to perform surveillance of an enormous area of ocean. They will be capable of finding out where everyone is around the frigates at long ranges and be able to engage them if need be.

"They it will be capable of deploying various weapons including machine guns, depth charges and torpedoes. We are pretty happy with the capability that will be here by the end of next year."

Meanwhile, development work is still to be done on the software package by Kaman and Northrop-Grumman in the US and computer company CSC in Sydney and Adelaide.

Captain Campbell said the software was always regarded as the high risk area of the program.

"We are moving ahead well now and I am quite confident of getting a good program at the end of next year. There are a lot of good talented people working on it," he said.

http://news.com.au/common/story_page...5E1702,00.html

10and6 22nd Oct 2003 02:33

Hmmmm......Would it have been better to buy more Seahawks?(commonality with RAN/Aust Army etc, worldwide future support and upgrades, Software would have been already developed etc).

I guess the Seahawk was too big for the OPV/JPV thingy that never happened with Malaysia!

I believe the US Navy recently decommisioned their last Seasprite Squadron.

Straight Up Again 22nd Oct 2003 07:03

The RAN Seahawks are being upgraded to give them the same FLIR, ESM, RWR and MAWS as the Seasprite for commonality. (Tenix Defence )

The only good thing about the seasprite being this late is that it makes the Seahawk upgrade project look good! (though has caused some problems due to Seasprite supposedly proving loads of system requirements first, but is now behind the Seahawk).

The main thing people keep going on about over here is the age of the airframes (7 built between '63 and '65, 4 between '85 and '86. 8 spent time shrink wrapped in a bone yard).

I've seen them around Nowra, but never close up, and I have to say they are bl00dy ugly, they make the upgraded Seahawk (with bolted on bits) look good.

I think they are way ahead of the Seahawk in terms of systems, the pictures I've seen show a nice looking glass cockpit. Shame they can't get them to work properly.

Jackonicko 22nd Oct 2003 07:11

Should have bought Lynx 300.........

Straight Up Again 22nd Oct 2003 13:59

Yeah, I was voting for Lynx 300, but that's just 'cos I was at Wastelands at the time.

Why did they go for Super Seasprite? Was it purely that it was cheaper, or more work kept in the country or something?

Lynx is certainly a lot better looking (well, except for the upturned FLIR turret on the nose).

Jackonicko 22nd Oct 2003 18:42

Reasons for SH-2 selection:
Much (!) cheaper initial purchase price
Better commonality with S70 and scope for further commonality through S70 upgrade
Potential commonality with AIR 6000 winner (S70! or further Kaman variant offered)
Perceived inability of Lynx to carry Penguin
Distrust of UK Plc after Hawk problems
Inadequate weighting given to in-service, support and operating costs

As far as I understand it.....

12 PSI 23rd Oct 2003 05:22

I think the way the Sea King LOTE program panned out had something to do with Sprite over Super Lynx

Heliport 24th Oct 2003 15:11

Australian Navy takes delivery of new Seasprite
 
ABC Regional report

The Navy's new Seasprite helicopter arrives in Nowra


It may be three years late but the first of the Navy's new Super Seasprite helicopters has been accepted by the Royal Australian Navy at HMAS Albatross in Nowra, on the NSW South Coast.

http://www.rotorhub.com/news/0310/australia1.jpg

Federal Minister for Defence, Robert Hill says the Seasprite is the most advanced maritime helicopter in the world, boasting sophisticated anti-ship weapons and the delay was caused by the installation of this state of the art technology.

The first of 11 helicopters to eventually be housed at the base, the Seasprite will become fully operational in 2005 and will provide the primary anti-surface weapon system for the ANZAC class frigates.

The helicopters have attracted some criticism from the Federal Opposition who say the refurbished aircraft frames are over 40 years old and Shadow Defence Minister Chris Evans says Senator Hill has exposed tax payers to the risk of accepting helicopters that have not met clear tender requirements.

But Senator Robert Hill says they can still do the job.

"They've been certified for 40 thousand hours, 25 years of operation, they are in effect brand new. You've only got to look at the aircraft or talk to the pilots. You know, there's no question about that at all."

Liberal member for Gilmore, Joanna Gash says the Seasprite Helicopter will bring enormous benefit to the Shoalhaven economy, in the range of 10 million dollars a year.

She says the squadron will bring an additional 110 people to the base plus their families "And also of course the contractors on the base who will be working on the helicopters outside of the base."

Minister for defence, Robert Hill says he can't comment on any plans to expand HMAS Albatross near Nowra to increase both army and air force components effectively making it a super base.

Bzulu 5th Nov 2003 16:20

Defence
MEDIA RELEASE


05/11/2003 Departmental 321/03



NAVY’S NEWEST HELICOPTER ARRIVES ON DECK


The Defence Materiel Organisation and the Royal Australian Navy today achieved a significant milestone in the Super Seasprite project, with the maritime helicopter successfully making its first ever landing on the deck of an Australian warship.


The Super Seasprite landed onboard the ANZAC class frigate HMAS WARRAMUNGA at Garden Island in Sydney this morning to commence shipboard trials which include landing, lash-down and stowage procedures onboard the ANZAC class warships.


This was a long-anticipated event in the $1,014.6 million project and was an important step forward.


Defence provisionally accepted the first of the 11 Super Seasprite helicopters for testing, evaluation and training at HMAS ALBATROSS in Nowra on the 18th October.


The trials will help ensure that the final product meets the Navy’s requirements making the Super Seasprite one of the most advanced maritime helicopters in the world.


Once accepted into service and fully equipped, the Super Seasprite will provide the primary anti-surface weapon system for Australia’s fleet of eight ANZAC class frigates.


The helicopters will be equipped with a sophisticated suite of sensors and weapons, including the capability to fire the ‘Penguin’ anti-ship missile and to deliver the Mk 46 anti-submarine warfare torpedo.


The Super Seasprite from 805 ‘Checkmates’ Squadron, based at HMAS ALBATROSS, has a crew of two for the trials. The helicopter is expected to return to Nowra on Friday.


805 Squadron currently has a complement of 64 personnel and more personnel will arrive early in the New Year for training.

http://www.defence.gov.au/

citizen 9th Nov 2003 07:30

I've heard (from the horse's mouth) that the airframe is definitely not an issue, all the airframes have been totally overhauled and there is little metal left that actually came from the old sprites. They have been zero lifed for a guaranteed 10000 hour lifespan.

That said, the few guys from 816 I have spoken to aren't particularly keen on the Seasprite, despite its capability. More Seahawks would have actually been cheaper by avoiding the cost of integrating a totally new helicopter into the works.

The reasoning behind the Seasprite was that the Navy was looking for a small ASuW helo they could fit onto their new fast attack ships they never got (+ more to go onto the ANZACs). When that idea fell through the Navy was already comitted to finishing off their investment with the Seasprite.

However, having looked over the airframe recently it is very hard to not come away with a sh*t-eating grin plastered on your face. The cockpit is something else, four colour LCDs combining all the systems onboard - and there are a sh*tload of them! The only analogue instrument I could find was the standby AI and that was it.

Cheers

Straight Up Again 10th Nov 2003 04:54

The 816 guys might not to be keen on it, but what about the guys from the Seasprite squadron (805 I believe)?

I've seen pictures of the cockpit, and it does look very pretty, it's just a shame that some of the software doesn't work properly. The best way to damage a sub with one is to crash into it, at least until they fix all the software.

citizen 10th Nov 2003 07:28

A *few* might not be keen, I'm not speaking for anyone, but overall everyone is fairly happy with the capabilities, or future capabilities, of the airframe. It just seems Navy, as it usually does, took the unorthodox way to provide an airbourne ASuW capability.

Straight Up Again 29th Apr 2004 03:06

RAN Seasprites on the telly again
 
It seems that the Seasprites are coming under fire again (though not literally, they couldn't shoot back) ...
Seasprite a waste of money?
Then select the "Seasprite - The Billion Dollar Blunder" story.

I've heard most of it before, I'm just wondering what people think is going to happen, I can't see any politicians getting sacked over it.

(I wasn't sure wether to put this in Military, Rotorheads or Dununda forums, so I don't mind if it gets moved)

LLSRC 9th Mar 2006 01:17

RAN Sqn's with bleak futures
 
Rumours a plenty about RAN Sqn's grinding to a halt due ongoing aircraft/ project issues. Seasprite has been lying low lately though I have heard the aircraft is still a lemon of gigantic proportions. Anyone in the know care to elaborate?

eagle 86 15th May 2006 02:25

RAN Seasprites
 
Put them in a pile and burn them - use the fire to burn at the stake all the Admirals and Public Servants who went against advice not to procure them!
GAGS
E86

Squidly 15th May 2006 02:55

A bit of perspective on the Subject
 
Why should we burn them? FOr those O/S or who have yet to read The Australian today ....

Grounded helicopters facing axe
Patrick Walters
May 15, 2006
THE navy's trouble-plagued Super Seasprite helicopter fleet has been grounded and the $1 billion program is at risk of being scrapped amid concerns the aircraft is unsafe to fly.
Nearly six years after they were due to enter service, the Seasprites -- a vital anti-submarine and anti-shipping aircraft for the Navy's Anzac-class frigates -- have been banned indefinitely from operational flying.

Defence Minister Brendan Nelson has ordered a review of the project, with options ranging from scrapping the Seasprite and buying an alternative helicopter to persisting with its development.

Dr Nelson told The Australian last night that it was time to look at what was involved in "getting out of the program".

Navy chief Vice-Admiral Russ Shalders and air force chief Air Marshal Geoff Shepherd flew to the navy's aviation base at Nowra, on the NSW south coast, on Friday as part of a high-level review of the program due to be presented to Dr Nelson this week.

They were accompanied by the Defence Department's chief of capability development, Lieutenant General David Hurley, and the head of the Defence Materiel Organisation, Stephen Gumley.

Dr Nelson said that after receiving the report he would take a recommendation on the Seasprite's future to cabinet's national security committee.

If the aircraft was scrapped as a ship-borne war-fighting machine, the Government could turn to the US Seahawk helicopter or the European NH-90, at a replacement cost of more than $1 billion.

Dr Nelson told The Australian last night that software problems associated with the Seasprite's electronic equipment had affected flight safety.

"You could not have 100 per cent confidence in the software program that supports the pilot flying the helicopter to 100 per cent safety," he said. "It has required the chief of naval aviation to have it grounded."

Dr Nelson said it was unlikely the aircraft would resume flying, other than for test-pilot evaluations, before the end of the year.

Defence has estimated it would cost a further $100million to $200 million and take another two years to make the planned 11-strong fleet operational and fully equipped for maritime warfare.

Ten of the contracted aircraft have been delivered to the navy's HMAS Albatross base at Nowra but none has been accepted into full operational service. A senior Defence source said last night that the cheapest solution was to finish the Seasprite program.

"The choice is between spending an extra $100 million to $150 million or paying up to $1.5 billion for a new capability which won't be delivered for three or four years," the source said. About $950 million has been spent on the project so far.

Nearly a decade after the contract was signed with US firm Kaman Aerospace, in 1997, the Seasprite project has been dogged by software problems and the failure of earlier sub-contractors to provide the aircraft's sophisticated avionics package.

Dr Nelson said he believed problems with the Seasprite were having a "significant and detrimental effect" on morale at Nowra, particularly in the wake of the 2004 Sea King crash, which killed nine military personnel and led to the temporary grounding of the Sea King fleet.

The Seasprites are regarded as the most troublesome of Defence's so-called "legacy projects", which started before the Howard Government took office and have run years late and failed to meet original specifications.

The grounding of the Seasprites is a particular blow for the navy's 805 squadron, which has been working to train aircrew and ready the aircraft for service on the Anzac frigates. Defence sources say the squadron will now almost certainly have to be downsized.
:eek:

eagle 86 15th May 2006 03:26

Squidly,
The news was what prompted me to start the post - burning represents a way to permanently dispose of them so there is no possible avenue for resurrection!
GAGS
E86

R22DRIVER 15th May 2006 04:02

Anybody got a picture of one of these Seasprites?

Squidly 15th May 2006 04:59

Eagle86 - Understood. Just thought I'd paste in the article to put your comments in context for those who had not heard the latest in the Seasprite saga.:}
R22 - Here's a link to a photo of the erstwhile SH-2G(A):

http://www.navy.gov.au/gallery/?c=1&id=29

imabell 15th May 2006 05:29

a lot has been said about the age of the sea king fleet. 35.

these sea sprites are made from 40+ year old airframes and are now and always have been pieces of crap.

the australian taxpayer handed over more than a billion dollars to its greatest ally for 10 aircraft, can you believe it. our military is the laughing stock of the world. a disgrace.

to add to all of this is the problems with the tiger that are also becoming an embarrassment as we fall well behind schedule on delivery. they don't work very well either.:yuk: :yuk: :ugh: :yuk:

MPT 15th May 2006 05:40

G'day imabell,

That'll be $1b for 11 aircraft !!! That'd buy a lot of (any) civil aircraft. I can never see the value(??) in what we pay for military helicopters.

Cheers,

MPT

R22DRIVER 15th May 2006 05:56

Sorry guys but that is one ugly heli! And i fly the ugliest!!!:ouch:

Squidly 15th May 2006 05:57

Imabell said "... sea sprites are made from 40+ year old airframes and are now and always have been pieces of crap"

40 years old, in USN service for over 35 of them and active in Vietnam (as a single-engine SAR bird) and every stoush the U.S. has been involved in since.

Interestingly the UH-2A was the mount of the first naval aviator to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honour in Vietnam (LT Clyde Everett Lassen - Google the name, makes for interesting reading).

The USN didn't seem to think they were crap (in their time). Obviously you had less fortune when you flew the H-2, to have come away with such feelings. How about sharing your experiences?:E

Squidly.

p.s. This post in no way endorses the performance, or otherwise, of the SH-2G(A) That's (A) for Australia.

maxeemum 15th May 2006 10:07

RAN + Birdy problems = strangle the morale chicken!
 
Spare a thought for the boys in the RAN at the moment. Shark 02, Sea sprite, problems with OFT's. It would be an interseting place to be a "birdy" at the moment.

Max


:ugh:

Screwed™ 15th May 2006 11:07


Originally Posted by imabell
our military is the laughing stock of the world.

...again. :(

imabell 15th May 2006 22:20

your right squidly, i was a bit over the top there. i am sure they served the usn well.

why do we need them?, we have nothing to protect, no aircraft carriers, no battleships, no cruisers. just a few destroyers and a couple of other boats. not much in the scheme of things. just toys for the boys to play with. and they are already broken.

now the tigers we are getting are suffering from major operational problems like, "it wont start sir", "the tv's not working sir",
the first one we had (demonstrator) was written off during a demonstration, because it wouldn't do what the pilot asked it to. they are months behind delivery at a million dollars a week i am told.

and what are we going to do with them if they ever do work properly???:D :D :ugh: :ugh:

bellfest 15th May 2006 23:47

At least in Australia when they make a huge ^%$#up like this you know it is just because they are incompetent, not because George Bush's or Dick Cheneys' second cousin's company makes the after market torpedo pods that fit the machine.
Why the ^%$# is our planet so intent on spending so much money on **** to kill people? If the money were spent on poverty there would be no need for a "defence" force.:confused:
I am not sure why I bothered throwing that in, I would say that there is more chance of Muhamid Ali shoving a pound of butter up a wild cats ass with a red hot skewer then that ever happening. Can only hope.
"Seasprite" It even sounds like a lemon.:8

Squidly 16th May 2006 00:53

Imabell - no probs. I tell myself at least a million times a day not to go over the top (and still do).:)

As to "Why do we need them?" that's a question I would hope gets a really good airing - before we spend/spent 1 billion dollars. All I do know is, they obviously didn't ask you, me or bellfast.

Regardless of the saga behind the Seasprite (and Tiger for that matter), I'm very much with Maxeemum - You've got to wonder how our fellow aviators at Nowra are feeling at the moment and sympathise with them - They've had a crap year (or 2, 3, .....):(

Squidly.

TukTuk BoomBoom 16th May 2006 01:05

Good call

"Sea-Sprite", like regular sprite but now with a dash of Lemon.

(Hey over in NZ they can only dream of having a budget big enough for Tigers, RNZAF still flying the Bell 47)

Everyone wondered why it seemed to be only Egypt and other easily bribed countries that had bought the Seasprites..
Just buy what the States operates at least it wil have proven itself somewhere.

22clipper 16th May 2006 01:05

If it ain't broke
 
Its a bid of a sad tale of an overly ambitious 'wish list' it would seem. The new Zealanders are using off-the-shelf sprites no probs, the trouble with ours is the one off, all singing all dancing avionics they tried to shoe horn into the machines.

grenade 16th May 2006 01:52

Got to love those side doors. Ive always wanted a bedford van like the posties used to have. Lets strip em out and go mustering.

Ian Corrigible 16th May 2006 02:26

I hesitate to come to the Tiger's defense, but I thought the Townsville crash in '98 (an EC-owned machine, not an ADF bird) was attributed to the pilot losing situational awareness at night ? That aside, the ADF found itself trapped in the position of being the first user of the Tiger when the French and German programs were delayed - keep in mind that, at the time the ADF selected the type in August 2001, initial deliveries to the ALAT were still planned for mid-2003, 18 months before the ADF was due to receive its first aircraft.

The power issue was always a clear & present danger, since the Tiger was designed for combat over the Fulda gap, not in 95F temps, and one surely has to believe that the ARH was always eventually intended to use the same upgraded engine being developed for the Spanish HAD variant once it became available (~2008) ?

As for the SH-2A(G) itself, much has been written over the past 9 years, but the original premise of the program (a compact shipboard helo) was lost when the proposed OPV replacement for the Freemantle class was scrapped in 1997 shortly after the selection of the Seasprite itself. Litton's withdrawal, the subsequent scramble to recover the mission suite, obsolescence issues resulting from the associated delays and the fact that 7 of the 11 aircraft were built in 1965-67 simply added to the program's woes.

Of course, Kaman's bid was originally A$200M lower than WHL's new-build Lynx offering, but I suspect that difference has already been eaten-up by the various players (mainly Kaman's shareholders).

The SH-2A(G) also never really fit with the 'consolidation' rationale of Air9000. Let's just hope MRH-90 lives up to expectations.

I/C

Screwed™ 16th May 2006 02:44

ADF Chief's:
"..yes, it's very nice, but we want half of that one, and half of that one. Just bolt them togther"
"..errr, you can't do that sir"
"..sure you can, she'll be right"
"Right then, what's for lunch?"
It's the same conversation over, and over and over and......:ugh:

gadgetguru 16th May 2006 03:10

NZ watching closely
 
I'm sure the NZ-DF ? is watching closely to pickup another bargain from the incompetant Oz mil hierarchy.

odds on they'll buy them off us for less than half what we paid,
get them working properly on a shoe-string budget (they'll have plenty from the savings in original procurement), then flog them back to us at 3 or 4 times the rate....:bored:

de ja vu the CT4 & A-4s
something about being promoted to your highest level of incompetantcy...;)

Squidly 16th May 2006 03:29

Notwithstanding how the Aussie Seasprite got this far, what's the call then:

1. Burn and bury 'em; or

2. Spend another squillion to see what they can really do?

helmet fire 17th May 2006 04:18

Burn them.
Sell tickets to burning.
Use ticket funds to buy the Huey Gunship recently retired from Army to do the job.
Spend squillions on piss for gunship pilots/gunners.
Everyone wins. Morale problem gone......:ok:

eagle 86 17th May 2006 04:37

Helmet Fire,
You, your mates nor your Huey could hack operations off a small ship out of sight of land!
GAGS
E86

Ascend Charlie 17th May 2006 04:47

Eagle 86, the small ship you operated off was our top War Canoe, HMAS Melbourne, wasn't it? Small by anybody's standards, and barely capable of getting out of sight of land.

Anyway, couldn't we get Macquarie Bank to run the defence forces?

They could buy all those 40-year old F-111s sitting in the Arizona desert, slap a coat of paint on them and sell them to Oz, claiming a $400 million spotter's fee. Then they cancel the F-35 order, pay the cancellation fee, and claim a management fee of $400 million. When Boeing Defence announces bankruptcy over the lost orders, buy them up at a bargain price, reinstate the F35 order, share price goes up again, sell at the peak and cancel the order again. Claim another big fee, pay the managers a bonus.

Sell the RAAF, navy and army bases for real estate. Any RAAF staff still staying in can move to what's left of Bankstown and use their flying pay to pay for some flying in R22s or C152s to keep current. Army HQ can be moved to a really secure top-secret bomb-proof location in the under-utilised Cross-City Tunnel, charge each person $3.37 to get through the toll gates to get to work. MacBank buys the Snowy River scheme and Warragamba Dam with the proceeds, sell the Warragamba sludge water to the Snowy scheme, boosting its share value. Sell at the peak, just before the water runs out. Buy again when the price bottoms out. Give all MacBank directors a performance bonus. Empty dams and dry rivers declared surplus to requirements, sell to Chinese interests for storage of nuclear waste. Another round of bonuses, please...:yuk:

helmet fire 17th May 2006 04:49

Fair cop e86.
There is only one reason you would want to be on a small boat out of sight of land and surrounded by men with beards......:8

AC...you were not in defence procurement by chance were you...sounds like a project blue print!!


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