Down wash yarns
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Down wash yarns
Whats the most novel, unorthodox or funny incidents you've encountered involving downwash?
This recent incident is
http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/vi...7_1200,00.html
Mickjoebill
This recent incident is
http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/vi...7_1200,00.html
Mickjoebill
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That deer rescue was great!
A friend of mine dislodged a large wheeled dumpster with some spare Bell 214 wind, and sent it rolling downhill toward the highway below... Luckily the dumpster took out it's aggression on a parked vehicle rather than reaching the road where the results could have been worse than a dented bumper.
A friend of mine dislodged a large wheeled dumpster with some spare Bell 214 wind, and sent it rolling downhill toward the highway below... Luckily the dumpster took out it's aggression on a parked vehicle rather than reaching the road where the results could have been worse than a dented bumper.
From my PERSONAL experience...ages ago (in the USN) at an airshow in Boulder City, NV (just outside Vegas) there was an airshow. We were a static display (Seahawk) parked between a CH-53 and a Chinook. After the show, we had to split so we opted to lift and depart from between the two other aircraft.
Now, the Seahawk puts out a lot of downwash, but not enough to be a problem for our neighbouring aircraft. However, about 50 metres along our departure path, a whole row of porta-loo's went ass over teakettle as we passed overhead...OOOPS! Fortunately nobody 'aboard' those babies when they went ass up...just a few embarassed moments for us to ponder.
Come to think of it, on another occasion inbound to McCarran Airport in Vegas we were directed to air transit from the threshold of the duty runway to the parallel taxiway to land. As we did so (at about 60-80 feet) we blew up a TREMENDOUS cloud of dust which caused tower to have to 'waveoff' the inbound RPT aircraft (which, I believe, was the reason for the direction to air taxi to land on the taxiway)...as soon as we switched to Ground we were told "call me as soon as you shutdown" by the controllers (uh, oh). Fortunately, after explaining that we were moving on the aerodrome as directed by them, they cooled down a bit...no harm done.
There have been instances (not me, thank Christ) where Seahawks have blown corrugated panels off the roofs of buildings and, on at least one occasion, blown light civil aircraft over on the flightline (YOINK!). I guess when you're flying 10 tonnes of aircraft it takes a bit of energy to do it and that energy, in the form of the downwash, can do nasty things.
HP
Now, the Seahawk puts out a lot of downwash, but not enough to be a problem for our neighbouring aircraft. However, about 50 metres along our departure path, a whole row of porta-loo's went ass over teakettle as we passed overhead...OOOPS! Fortunately nobody 'aboard' those babies when they went ass up...just a few embarassed moments for us to ponder.
Come to think of it, on another occasion inbound to McCarran Airport in Vegas we were directed to air transit from the threshold of the duty runway to the parallel taxiway to land. As we did so (at about 60-80 feet) we blew up a TREMENDOUS cloud of dust which caused tower to have to 'waveoff' the inbound RPT aircraft (which, I believe, was the reason for the direction to air taxi to land on the taxiway)...as soon as we switched to Ground we were told "call me as soon as you shutdown" by the controllers (uh, oh). Fortunately, after explaining that we were moving on the aerodrome as directed by them, they cooled down a bit...no harm done.
There have been instances (not me, thank Christ) where Seahawks have blown corrugated panels off the roofs of buildings and, on at least one occasion, blown light civil aircraft over on the flightline (YOINK!). I guess when you're flying 10 tonnes of aircraft it takes a bit of energy to do it and that energy, in the form of the downwash, can do nasty things.
HP
Vietnam 1968
LZ West near Que Son Valley southwest of Da Nang
Mountain top artillery base
Chinook doing resupply runs with sling loads
Boonie Rat gets caught on the helipad heading for the water trailer with a Jerry can in each hand
In a fit of desperation he seeks shelter in the four hole dunny (fuel drums cut in half for receptacles and burned every day)
Me...new pilot in country
Overshoots the pad...pulled LOTS of power to get stopped
Dunny and said Rat levitates momentarily then over the side of the mountain they go....rolling,bouncing, jumping, contents including said Rat going every which way on its way down to the concentina wire and trip flares
We drop the sling load at its appointed place and peer down the hillside from a hover
Said Rat seen looking like a Chocolate covered Snow Man and not smiling for some reason....he'd pay money at the County Fair for a ride like that
Dilemna....four loads left to go to the LZ where now very upset Rat has access to all sorts of things that go Bang
Extra sortie laid on at no cost to supported unit to fetch a water trailer just for the Unwashed Boonie Rat
Seems a bit funny now but at the time....oh Buddy!
LZ West near Que Son Valley southwest of Da Nang
Mountain top artillery base
Chinook doing resupply runs with sling loads
Boonie Rat gets caught on the helipad heading for the water trailer with a Jerry can in each hand
In a fit of desperation he seeks shelter in the four hole dunny (fuel drums cut in half for receptacles and burned every day)
Me...new pilot in country
Overshoots the pad...pulled LOTS of power to get stopped
Dunny and said Rat levitates momentarily then over the side of the mountain they go....rolling,bouncing, jumping, contents including said Rat going every which way on its way down to the concentina wire and trip flares
We drop the sling load at its appointed place and peer down the hillside from a hover
Said Rat seen looking like a Chocolate covered Snow Man and not smiling for some reason....he'd pay money at the County Fair for a ride like that
Dilemna....four loads left to go to the LZ where now very upset Rat has access to all sorts of things that go Bang
Extra sortie laid on at no cost to supported unit to fetch a water trailer just for the Unwashed Boonie Rat
Seems a bit funny now but at the time....oh Buddy!
Vietnam 1968
LZ West near Que Son Valley southwest of Da Nang
Mountain top artillery base
Chinook doing resupply runs with sling loads
Boonie Rat gets caught on the helipad heading for the water trailer with a Jerry can in each hand
In a fit of desperation he seeks shelter in the four hole dunny (fuel drums cut in half for receptacles and burned every day)
Me...new pilot in country
Overshoots the pad...pulled LOTS of power to get stopped
Dunny and said Rat levitates momentarily then over the side of the mountain they go....rolling,bouncing, jumping, contents including said Rat going every which way on its way down to the concentina wire and trip flares
We drop the sling load at its appointed place and peer down the hillside from a hover
Said Rat seen looking like a Chocolate covered Snow Man and not smiling for some reason....he'd pay money at the County Fair for a ride like that
Dilemna....four loads left to go to the LZ where now very upset Rat has access to all sorts of things that go Bang
Extra sortie laid on at no cost to supported unit to fetch a water trailer just for the Unwashed Boonie Rat
Seems a bit funny now but at the time....oh Buddy!
LZ West near Que Son Valley southwest of Da Nang
Mountain top artillery base
Chinook doing resupply runs with sling loads
Boonie Rat gets caught on the helipad heading for the water trailer with a Jerry can in each hand
In a fit of desperation he seeks shelter in the four hole dunny (fuel drums cut in half for receptacles and burned every day)
Me...new pilot in country
Overshoots the pad...pulled LOTS of power to get stopped
Dunny and said Rat levitates momentarily then over the side of the mountain they go....rolling,bouncing, jumping, contents including said Rat going every which way on its way down to the concentina wire and trip flares
We drop the sling load at its appointed place and peer down the hillside from a hover
Said Rat seen looking like a Chocolate covered Snow Man and not smiling for some reason....he'd pay money at the County Fair for a ride like that
Dilemna....four loads left to go to the LZ where now very upset Rat has access to all sorts of things that go Bang
Extra sortie laid on at no cost to supported unit to fetch a water trailer just for the Unwashed Boonie Rat
Seems a bit funny now but at the time....oh Buddy!
* Cost of moving helicopter and pilot to Vietnam - $ _________(take a stab at price here)
**Value of blowing a shi**er down a mountain and seeing 'chocolate covered snowman' emerge STANKY and PISSED OFF but relatively unharmed - PRICELESS!!
Landed our Huey (in the 70s) on the tarmac outside the civil terminal in Tamworth, because that was where the fuel plug was. After the refuel, an F27 Friendship taxies in, and stops quite near to us -access to the plug, and all. Passegers unload, and there will be a 20-minute wait for the load-up and departure.
We can't wait that long, so with the F27 captain's agreement, we crank up for departure.
The Hostesses (as they were called in those days) were standing on the top of the steps, watching us.
Full throttle, 6600 revs, we pull pitch. And the hostie's dresses flip upwards over their heads to make them look like roses. Laughed so hard, could hardly hover taxy away. VERY red faces watching us from inside the cabin, applause from the refueller.
We can't wait that long, so with the F27 captain's agreement, we crank up for departure.
The Hostesses (as they were called in those days) were standing on the top of the steps, watching us.
Full throttle, 6600 revs, we pull pitch. And the hostie's dresses flip upwards over their heads to make them look like roses. Laughed so hard, could hardly hover taxy away. VERY red faces watching us from inside the cabin, applause from the refueller.
Vietnam 1969
Pineapple area west of Saigon
Chinook scraping the top of the pineapple plants and Nipa Palms with her ears laid back....hauling the mail!
Lunch time harkens as belly's growl
Light bulb flashing in young Warrant Officer's pea sized brain
We'll hit the 199th Brigade HQ Mess....best steaks in the country
Me...brain in stop forgets to slow down until a bit late
Chinook laid on its side, lever on the bottom....and as we cross the Monsoon ditch with its single log foot bridge....pulled power to max trying to stop
Seen through the chin bubble at a strangely odd angle....a pair of very shiny jungle boots and a bright shiny star imbossed on a steel helmet and some very starched jungle fatiques now headed nose first into the muck of the monsoon ditch.
Up Lever...roll out into trimmed flight...cyclic to the forward stops...and head quickly to any place else for a meal of cold canned C Rations.
I am sure the General thought we did it on purpose....but we did not hang around to inquire. Momma always said one could be too curious.
Pineapple area west of Saigon
Chinook scraping the top of the pineapple plants and Nipa Palms with her ears laid back....hauling the mail!
Lunch time harkens as belly's growl
Light bulb flashing in young Warrant Officer's pea sized brain
We'll hit the 199th Brigade HQ Mess....best steaks in the country
Me...brain in stop forgets to slow down until a bit late
Chinook laid on its side, lever on the bottom....and as we cross the Monsoon ditch with its single log foot bridge....pulled power to max trying to stop
Seen through the chin bubble at a strangely odd angle....a pair of very shiny jungle boots and a bright shiny star imbossed on a steel helmet and some very starched jungle fatiques now headed nose first into the muck of the monsoon ditch.
Up Lever...roll out into trimmed flight...cyclic to the forward stops...and head quickly to any place else for a meal of cold canned C Rations.
I am sure the General thought we did it on purpose....but we did not hang around to inquire. Momma always said one could be too curious.
RNAS Culdrose, 1969: the Sea King was new to the RN, and we still did a lot of things the way that we'd always done with the Wessex, such as hover taxi everywhere.
Cue lonely Hiller 12E on solo sloped landing practise, usual area alongside the ammo dump. Quite predictably, the downwash from a passing King Dipper neatly rolled the 12E in a ball down the slope, unnoticed by all, including the tower over the other side of the field.
Tearful Midshipman eventually makes his way on foot across the airfield, nearly as upset by the accident as by the fact that no one noticed, nor missed him
Cue lonely Hiller 12E on solo sloped landing practise, usual area alongside the ammo dump. Quite predictably, the downwash from a passing King Dipper neatly rolled the 12E in a ball down the slope, unnoticed by all, including the tower over the other side of the field.
Tearful Midshipman eventually makes his way on foot across the airfield, nearly as upset by the accident as by the fact that no one noticed, nor missed him
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Sea King
Some years ago an RAF Sea King from Manston was scrambled to a light aircraft in trouble crossing the Channel from France. Light aircraft carries out a text book forced landing in a field, everyone OK and no damage done to aircraft. The Yellow helicopter arrives and the crew decide to land-on next to the light aircraft. As they arrive in the hover the rotorwash blows the light aircraft over. Next day's headlines in the local rag went something along the lines of: "Bungling Helicopter Crew Downs French Air Ace".
I, too, have had cause to bowl over a row of porta-cludgies, but this time by remote control.
I was given the task of marshalling incoming aircraft into the static park at a heli-meet. At the same time, a bloke from a different unit was trying to get his portaloos lined up. One aircraft was going to arrive late, and due to the prevailing wind, would have to shoot his approach over the 'facilities'. The other bloke outranked me (considerably), and wouldn't wait until the aircraft had arrived, and so I had to marshall a US Navy SH-3 directly over a row of about 20 interconnected loos.
Nobody was surprised when they all fell over in a smart and military fashion. What did cause a shock was when Officer i/c emerged from one, somewhat soiled, having decided to test his installation.
I was given the task of marshalling incoming aircraft into the static park at a heli-meet. At the same time, a bloke from a different unit was trying to get his portaloos lined up. One aircraft was going to arrive late, and due to the prevailing wind, would have to shoot his approach over the 'facilities'. The other bloke outranked me (considerably), and wouldn't wait until the aircraft had arrived, and so I had to marshall a US Navy SH-3 directly over a row of about 20 interconnected loos.
Nobody was surprised when they all fell over in a smart and military fashion. What did cause a shock was when Officer i/c emerged from one, somewhat soiled, having decided to test his installation.
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Terribly wussie really after SASless et al.
Landed with a very famous actress at a major sports event. Ground crew were a bit quick and actress jumped out and had her skirt blown right up.
Leader of the GH team came up to me later and said "Thanks mate that *** ****** hasn't half got a bloody hairy a***."
Never seen her in the same light since.
Landed with a very famous actress at a major sports event. Ground crew were a bit quick and actress jumped out and had her skirt blown right up.
Leader of the GH team came up to me later and said "Thanks mate that *** ****** hasn't half got a bloody hairy a***."
Never seen her in the same light since.
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Bell JetRanger tasked to drop off Bride and Groom at hotel where the reception was being held after the wedding.
The problem was that the space behind the hotel was tight and it was Summer time and the restaurant had outside tables with parasoles. This was in the New Forest in southern UK. On the descent to land several of the parasoles lifed off and got airbourne, one managing to fly right over the three storey building and land point first on the roof of a car.
The car just happened to be the limo for the bride and groom....OOOPPs.
The problem was that the space behind the hotel was tight and it was Summer time and the restaurant had outside tables with parasoles. This was in the New Forest in southern UK. On the descent to land several of the parasoles lifed off and got airbourne, one managing to fly right over the three storey building and land point first on the roof of a car.
The car just happened to be the limo for the bride and groom....OOOPPs.
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I did a skydiving display into an emergency services event.
The event was held in a park with lots of tall trees all over it.
One of the most popular attractions (apart from the heroic skydivers) was an RAF Chinook static display. The crew were doing a fine job all day showing people round.
Unfortunately the aircraft had to leave before the end of the event. The crowds were ushered back and marshalls did their best to keep people back.
Due to the trees surrounding the aircraft I realised it would have to be a max perf TO and I was trying desperately to get the marshalls to push the crowd back at least twice the distance they were standing.
I got the impression that the thoughts of the marshalls were 'What does this bloke know. He jumps out of airplanes. He is obviously mentally subnormal. I shall ignore him and hope he goes away.'
With engines burning and rotors turning I saw the pilot and cojo trying to wave the marshalls back away from the aircraft but, like me, they were being steadfastly ignored.
It was quite surreal standing back away from the aircraft to see everyone (yes everyone) knocked over as the Chinook leapt into the air. I saw two baby buggies (thankfully empty) blown about 200 yards away and damaged beyond repair.
The impulse to subsequently find those marshalls and give them the 'told you so' look was just too strong to resist.
The event was held in a park with lots of tall trees all over it.
One of the most popular attractions (apart from the heroic skydivers) was an RAF Chinook static display. The crew were doing a fine job all day showing people round.
Unfortunately the aircraft had to leave before the end of the event. The crowds were ushered back and marshalls did their best to keep people back.
Due to the trees surrounding the aircraft I realised it would have to be a max perf TO and I was trying desperately to get the marshalls to push the crowd back at least twice the distance they were standing.
I got the impression that the thoughts of the marshalls were 'What does this bloke know. He jumps out of airplanes. He is obviously mentally subnormal. I shall ignore him and hope he goes away.'
With engines burning and rotors turning I saw the pilot and cojo trying to wave the marshalls back away from the aircraft but, like me, they were being steadfastly ignored.
It was quite surreal standing back away from the aircraft to see everyone (yes everyone) knocked over as the Chinook leapt into the air. I saw two baby buggies (thankfully empty) blown about 200 yards away and damaged beyond repair.
The impulse to subsequently find those marshalls and give them the 'told you so' look was just too strong to resist.
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I had to pick up a family from their private property and take them for a 10 minute flight to drop of at Aucklands downtown heliport.
Landed at property in Squirrel, frictioned it up and jumped out to make introductions.
Chatting to parents and was about to load the heli up, when husband needed something from the house, so I said I would load the kids in (including 20 year old daughter) while the husband was away. The son climbed in, followed by the daughter in a summer dress, there was just enough downwash/recirculation to blow the dress up over her head...right in front of me! She was pretty quick to pull it down, but not fast enough for her parents not to see, which they thought was pretty funny.
The downtown helipad is right next to a resturant, so I kindly advised her to hold on this time, as 30 diners might also find it funny. No more incidents, but had a smile for the rest of the flight.
Hughesy
Landed at property in Squirrel, frictioned it up and jumped out to make introductions.
Chatting to parents and was about to load the heli up, when husband needed something from the house, so I said I would load the kids in (including 20 year old daughter) while the husband was away. The son climbed in, followed by the daughter in a summer dress, there was just enough downwash/recirculation to blow the dress up over her head...right in front of me! She was pretty quick to pull it down, but not fast enough for her parents not to see, which they thought was pretty funny.
The downtown helipad is right next to a resturant, so I kindly advised her to hold on this time, as 30 diners might also find it funny. No more incidents, but had a smile for the rest of the flight.
Hughesy
Avoid imitations
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Scene: A Police Squirrel was chasing and videoing an illegally ridden quad bike and a motorcycle across a disused and very dusty coal tip. Both disappeared under a railway bridge and the bike was dumped out of sight (it was stolen). Both riders appeared again at full speed on the quadbike. Rider eventually gave up after the helicopter sat across his bows, matching his speed. He got off the quad bike in disgust. The pilot (me) was asked to land so he could be arrested. As the aircraft approached a low hover, the angry looking rider suddenly ran full tilt at the heli. As his intentions were unknown and he was about to endanger both himself and the aircraft, the pilot went around. As the heli moved away, there was a roar of approval and laughter from the police observers.
On landing back at base, the video tape of the incident showed the bike thief surrounded by a personal mini whirlwind of black coal dust, whipped up by the downwash (a complete fluke as it happened). On reappearing, coughing and choking, he looked as if he had done a full shift down the long-closed coalmine. His white eyes blinked out from a blackened face and he was in no fit state to run any more!
On landing back at base, the video tape of the incident showed the bike thief surrounded by a personal mini whirlwind of black coal dust, whipped up by the downwash (a complete fluke as it happened). On reappearing, coughing and choking, he looked as if he had done a full shift down the long-closed coalmine. His white eyes blinked out from a blackened face and he was in no fit state to run any more!
Oil company Christmas party in Darwin about 10 years ago 214ST bringing in Santa, told said oil company all reqd distances for downwash etc, but they knew better! previous years had been a 412 .....lot less downwash , they assured us plenty of room, said 214ST arrives, lots of small very happy children, moments later lots of small human tumble weeds, tables and santas thrown all gone , bloody funny later but not at the time, though I had to fight hard to keep a straight face after shutdown , picking up small human tumble weeds in between sobs asking why Santa blew them away.
Yet another Chinook yarn....
Vietnam again....flying support missions for the Royal Thai Army units near Bearcat.
Firebase move underway....hauled some troops and general cargo then the guns and ammo. Final few sorties were left over items and thousands of empty sandbags. The Thai's removed everything when they departed a field site.
Approaching the old LZ....looked down at what looked like an Ant colony...lil bitty men scurrying feverishly to stack and bundle the empty sandbags into 8,000 pound loads.
Thai Officer in the helicopter talking to the ground troops calls for smoke on the ground....out comes a pretty purple smoke....load seen and hook up man fixed in our sights.
As we arrive at the load to be picked up.....fleeting thought of "I sure hope those bundles of sand bags are banded or some how secure....aw,cmon now....surely they aren't just stacked there loose? No one can be that thick?"
Everything looked fine as we hooked up, a few bags moving about but not bad...and began to lift...to discover we had way more than the requested load of 8,000 pounds.....more like 12,000 pounds maybe....both engines at max torque and barely able to ascend with it but still flyable. While concentrating on being as smooth as possible and keeping the torque right on the max mark....began to ease forward.....and all of a sudden the sky went dark....green dark....zillions of green sand bags dark! It was as if we had flown into a dark green cloud....with sandbags hundreds of feet in the air.
Conscious thought of "Lycomings don't let me down here...."
As we did a turn in the other direction we flew downwind by the LZ and it was still raining empty sand bags and scattering them over about a half square mile of the old Firebase.
Returning for another load.....instant replay of the same scene....again zillions of green sand bags into the heavens! Ultimately darkness interrupted the circus act with many...many...old sandbags littering the countryside.
Vietnam again....flying support missions for the Royal Thai Army units near Bearcat.
Firebase move underway....hauled some troops and general cargo then the guns and ammo. Final few sorties were left over items and thousands of empty sandbags. The Thai's removed everything when they departed a field site.
Approaching the old LZ....looked down at what looked like an Ant colony...lil bitty men scurrying feverishly to stack and bundle the empty sandbags into 8,000 pound loads.
Thai Officer in the helicopter talking to the ground troops calls for smoke on the ground....out comes a pretty purple smoke....load seen and hook up man fixed in our sights.
As we arrive at the load to be picked up.....fleeting thought of "I sure hope those bundles of sand bags are banded or some how secure....aw,cmon now....surely they aren't just stacked there loose? No one can be that thick?"
Everything looked fine as we hooked up, a few bags moving about but not bad...and began to lift...to discover we had way more than the requested load of 8,000 pounds.....more like 12,000 pounds maybe....both engines at max torque and barely able to ascend with it but still flyable. While concentrating on being as smooth as possible and keeping the torque right on the max mark....began to ease forward.....and all of a sudden the sky went dark....green dark....zillions of green sand bags dark! It was as if we had flown into a dark green cloud....with sandbags hundreds of feet in the air.
Conscious thought of "Lycomings don't let me down here...."
As we did a turn in the other direction we flew downwind by the LZ and it was still raining empty sand bags and scattering them over about a half square mile of the old Firebase.
Returning for another load.....instant replay of the same scene....again zillions of green sand bags into the heavens! Ultimately darkness interrupted the circus act with many...many...old sandbags littering the countryside.
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My favorite downwash screw-up:
I was ferrying an H-53 (42,000 lbs of mighty moose muscle) down to Norfolk VA from Stratford CT when the weather went sour. We were down to 300 feet and couldnt reach anyone, so we stopped at Accomack County airport, a nice little 2500 foot strip, so my CP could telephone ahead. We just passed at a low hover down the runway to the mid-field shack, where my buddy went in with a pocket full of dimes while I idled by the gas pumps. He was quickly seen back-peddling out of the office with the airport manager pointing a finger in his chest, yelling at him is words that could almost be heard above the two 4500 HP engines idling on the helo.
Why was the airport manager mad? It turns out that he had just finished spending all morning prepping the airport for a small air show to be held the next day, and he had placed hundreds of bean bag lights, small signs for parking and guide ropes and stands just off the runway. When I'd hovered down the runway, I had blown literally every one of these things into the woods and swamp around the airport!
I was ferrying an H-53 (42,000 lbs of mighty moose muscle) down to Norfolk VA from Stratford CT when the weather went sour. We were down to 300 feet and couldnt reach anyone, so we stopped at Accomack County airport, a nice little 2500 foot strip, so my CP could telephone ahead. We just passed at a low hover down the runway to the mid-field shack, where my buddy went in with a pocket full of dimes while I idled by the gas pumps. He was quickly seen back-peddling out of the office with the airport manager pointing a finger in his chest, yelling at him is words that could almost be heard above the two 4500 HP engines idling on the helo.
Why was the airport manager mad? It turns out that he had just finished spending all morning prepping the airport for a small air show to be held the next day, and he had placed hundreds of bean bag lights, small signs for parking and guide ropes and stands just off the runway. When I'd hovered down the runway, I had blown literally every one of these things into the woods and swamp around the airport!
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There had been heavy snow over northern England (it happens occasionally in winter), and there had been widespread power failures in Geordieland. Three of us, two pilots and an engineer, were sent to help out the local electricity board.
We landed in a small field, covered in knee-deep snow, to pick up spares for the client. The engineer was out of the aircraft, supervising the loading; I was non-handling. I saw three men the other side of a nearby fence, gesticulating wildly, big grins on their faces, eyes shining bright. I ignored them, but my mate wondered what was their problem.
“It’s three drunken Geordies,” I said. “They just want a ride.”
He was unconvinced, and waited until the engineer finished his job, struggled back into the aircraft and dusted off most of the snow covering him. Then he asked him to go and see what these chaps wanted.
Highly unamused engineer stomped across the field, and what followed was a demonstration of the universal medium of body language. Engineer, now spitting feathers, stomped back to the aicraft, struggled into the aircraft, dusted off most of the snow covering him.
“It’s three drunken Geordies. They just want a ride,” he said. Or words to that effect.
“OK,” said the pilot. “Watch this.” He applied the perfect amount of collective, and I watched a wall of snow head towards the men. Two of them were not quite as inebriated as the other, and they hit the deck just in time. The other, still bearing an impossibly wide grin and with bright shining eyes, stood there. He had the presence of mind to cover his eyes, eventually, and I watched as snow rapidly built up over his body, beginning at the centre of his head, arms and limbs, and spreading outwards. Within a couple of seconds, all I could see was his outline. He was a white silhouette.
As we transitioned away, I saw what was now the front half of a snowman fall to the ground, and two men on the ground lauging their socks off.
We landed in a small field, covered in knee-deep snow, to pick up spares for the client. The engineer was out of the aircraft, supervising the loading; I was non-handling. I saw three men the other side of a nearby fence, gesticulating wildly, big grins on their faces, eyes shining bright. I ignored them, but my mate wondered what was their problem.
“It’s three drunken Geordies,” I said. “They just want a ride.”
He was unconvinced, and waited until the engineer finished his job, struggled back into the aircraft and dusted off most of the snow covering him. Then he asked him to go and see what these chaps wanted.
Highly unamused engineer stomped across the field, and what followed was a demonstration of the universal medium of body language. Engineer, now spitting feathers, stomped back to the aicraft, struggled into the aircraft, dusted off most of the snow covering him.
“It’s three drunken Geordies. They just want a ride,” he said. Or words to that effect.
“OK,” said the pilot. “Watch this.” He applied the perfect amount of collective, and I watched a wall of snow head towards the men. Two of them were not quite as inebriated as the other, and they hit the deck just in time. The other, still bearing an impossibly wide grin and with bright shining eyes, stood there. He had the presence of mind to cover his eyes, eventually, and I watched as snow rapidly built up over his body, beginning at the centre of his head, arms and limbs, and spreading outwards. Within a couple of seconds, all I could see was his outline. He was a white silhouette.
As we transitioned away, I saw what was now the front half of a snowman fall to the ground, and two men on the ground lauging their socks off.
Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
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In the very early 1980s I was in Belize, flying an RAF Puma. There was an Army lookout post right down in the southwest, on a tiny rocky outcrop overlooking the border. From the nearest army base near Punta Gorda it was 18 minutes by Puma, but according to the special forces folk we often flew, it would be 3 weeks on foot as it was all mangrove swamp. Not surprisingly, we used to resupply everything by air, food, drinks, fuel for the generator, etc. All the rubbish used to come out by air. A typical load included lots of plastic crates of soft drinks. This was done just once a week.
At that time, the Ghurkas were the regiment in theatre. Great soldiers, excellent in the jungle, but not so good at working with helicopters.....
The raised helipad was made from corrugated iron sheets vertically on edge fastened to wooden posts and backfilled with limestone. It was designed for a (skidded) Scout helicopter and was therefore only just big enough for a Puma to get its wheels on. The pilot was talked into position on the pad by his crewman lying on the aircraft floor. As the nosewheel was roughly in line with the rear of the pilots seat, it always felt like we were landing on thin air, overlooking an almost vertical drop off the rocky outcrop. We never shut engines down on the pad in case we couldn't start again - we didn't fancy a 3 week walk/swim across the jungle as there was no room on site for a second aircraft.
One day I arrived at Punta Gorda to be tasked with a resupply. As well as all the usual stuff the Ghurkas refrigerator had gone u/s so we were taking them a new one. The army stripped off all the protective outer wrapping and loaded it. The flight went well, we landed on the pad and the resupply began, with the crewman supervising. It was normal for stuff to be stacked adjacent to the helipad and for the soldiers to lie on it to hold it in place.
This was done and the new fridge was placed next to the helipad. As always, the Ghurkas were very pleased to see us, and the thought of their drinks now being cold would have filled them with delight - it was big smiles and thumbs up all around. The empties were all loaded and we were about to depart but the Ghurkas seeemd to forget the drill. As soon as I pulled pitch, they all ran back along the access track instead of securing the stuff.
As I lifted in my peripheral vision I saw the brand new fridge fly door open, the downwash get inside and lift it up and over the Ghurkas heads. It was last seen bouncing down the rocky cliff.....
At that time, the Ghurkas were the regiment in theatre. Great soldiers, excellent in the jungle, but not so good at working with helicopters.....
The raised helipad was made from corrugated iron sheets vertically on edge fastened to wooden posts and backfilled with limestone. It was designed for a (skidded) Scout helicopter and was therefore only just big enough for a Puma to get its wheels on. The pilot was talked into position on the pad by his crewman lying on the aircraft floor. As the nosewheel was roughly in line with the rear of the pilots seat, it always felt like we were landing on thin air, overlooking an almost vertical drop off the rocky outcrop. We never shut engines down on the pad in case we couldn't start again - we didn't fancy a 3 week walk/swim across the jungle as there was no room on site for a second aircraft.
One day I arrived at Punta Gorda to be tasked with a resupply. As well as all the usual stuff the Ghurkas refrigerator had gone u/s so we were taking them a new one. The army stripped off all the protective outer wrapping and loaded it. The flight went well, we landed on the pad and the resupply began, with the crewman supervising. It was normal for stuff to be stacked adjacent to the helipad and for the soldiers to lie on it to hold it in place.
This was done and the new fridge was placed next to the helipad. As always, the Ghurkas were very pleased to see us, and the thought of their drinks now being cold would have filled them with delight - it was big smiles and thumbs up all around. The empties were all loaded and we were about to depart but the Ghurkas seeemd to forget the drill. As soon as I pulled pitch, they all ran back along the access track instead of securing the stuff.
As I lifted in my peripheral vision I saw the brand new fridge fly door open, the downwash get inside and lift it up and over the Ghurkas heads. It was last seen bouncing down the rocky cliff.....