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Unexpected aspects of becoming a pilot

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Old 17th Dec 2006, 17:29
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Unexpected aspects of becoming a pilot

when I signed up for this pilot thing, certain things appear to be normal which no one ever mentioned, for example:

1) extreme tea drinking
2) excessive bacon roll consumption
3) long distance driving

as a result I reckon my health is worse than ever in a occupation that needs a medical every 6 months/1 year.

anyone got anymore unanticipated side effects of aviation??

SFIM
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Old 17th Dec 2006, 18:26
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Continual poverty - fluctuating between obscene and extreme.

Polyester - in all its guises.

.....and days filled with 12 hrs on boredom, 50 minutes of pleasure and 10 minutes of sheer panic.... this does wonders for the blood pressure.
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Old 17th Dec 2006, 20:28
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Noone mentioned that I'd become obsessed with trying to find out what the weather was going to be like in 9 days time 'cos I'd got an aircraft booked that day

RC
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Old 17th Dec 2006, 20:37
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Originally Posted by SFIM
1) extreme tea drinking
2) excessive bacon roll consumption
3) long distance driving
These are the reasons why I think I'm suited to being a helicopter pilot!

Cheers

Whirls
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Old 17th Dec 2006, 23:52
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Concepts like being too lazy to steal and fear of hard work spring to mind as well.
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 00:59
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Don't forget the membership of the AIDS club : Aviation-Induced Divorce Syndrome.

It can be a blessing in disguise.
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 01:00
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... and then there's addiction to rumour networks...
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 07:14
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Originally Posted by SFIM
1) extreme tea drinking
2) excessive bacon roll consumption
3) long distance driving
As personal AUW increases, this results in a natural progression from small ships to mediums and eventually you end up as a wide-body captain in heavies. (Wide-body is not a reference to the aircraft!) Frantically, you start looking for a Mi-26 position or, in an emergency, start dieting. This seldom works when you have a carefully cultivated habit of drinking beer with fellow migrant labourers and the belt remains under stress. So, you lie about your weight to your boss and your pax suddenly become real fatties with heaps of baggage on your loadsheet.
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 14:05
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You're doing it wrong, jab! It's too easy to get caught fiddling with the pax weight. The way to do it is with fuel. You burn that, and there is no way to prove exactly how much you had at the start of the flight, and it's easy to justify having an extra hundred pounds or so, with the weather being rather uncertain, don't you see.
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 14:33
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Thanks GP

I was going to edit my post to mention creative fuel calculations but then it becomes complicated. The older, wider pilot is very adept at managing fuel and becomes twitchy if there is a suggestion of a headwind, since a portion of his "reserve" is under his belt. That is just another advantage to flying a heavy, who is going to notice an extra 50 pounds in a S-61?
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Old 18th Dec 2006, 15:15
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Fuel for Mum and the kids changes with time as well....youngsters with no wife or children use the calculator and dispatch rules for their calculations....old Fart's do that then throw in some extra as determined by their perceived desire to get home to the pipe and slippers.
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Old 19th Dec 2006, 03:57
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The difference between an optimist and a pessimist:

Is the fuel tank half full or half empty?
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Old 19th Dec 2006, 05:19
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C of G is the clue

I suddenly found an increase in popularity amonst S76A+ crews who worked out that my natural value for money (£/kilo) meant that C of G problems reduced and that with me on board they could put in enough fuel to get round the evening shuttle when you invariably set off with zero pax. Bit depressing when you thought your popularity was based on your sparkling conversation.

Now I've taken the last refuge of the bacon roll chumping, tea swilling chopper guy and going back to teaching on sims. The load sheet-lying imay be a thing of the past but fitness to pass the medicals will still be there and that's probably not a bad thing. It's only the fear of my AME that gets me on the bicycle or walking up the hill.

One other side effect of the itinerant aviator trade is a vast collection of plates, knives and forks - the paraphernalia essential for hotel living on a budget.

G

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Old 19th Dec 2006, 06:11
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"Bit depressing when you thought your popularity was based on your sparkling conversation."

Geoffers, but at least take comfort that no-one ever said "I'd rather take his weight in fuel"
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Old 19th Dec 2006, 16:23
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Jeremy Kyle
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Old 19th Dec 2006, 18:01
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Originally Posted by Gomer Pylot
The difference between an optimist and a pessimist:
Is the fuel tank half full or half empty?
Personally I am a pedant - one half is full and the other half is empty.

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Old 19th Dec 2006, 22:16
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Empty is nothing at all. Can't have half of nothing.
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Old 21st Dec 2006, 05:53
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flight xyz heavy

I used to wonder why the commercial flights on those air crash docos were called 'heavy' by ATC. Now I realiseits those wide body captains?
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Old 21st Dec 2006, 15:29
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to expand on the "extreme tea drinking" phenomena.

1)when we arrive in the morning me or my colleague will say "do you want a brew?"
2)when we get any sort of delay before we go "do you want a brew, while we wait?"
3)before we go flying "do you want a brew, to take with us?"
4)halfway round the round "get matey on the radio and ask him if he will make us a brew?"
5)when we land while doing paperwork, "do you want another brew?"

and it may not even be lunchtime yet, and dont even ask about weather delays!, you are tiddling neat tea in vast quantities, before you have even gone anywhere !

SFIM

Last edited by SFIM; 21st Dec 2006 at 19:44.
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Old 22nd Dec 2006, 11:19
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I too have bowed to the pressure of extreme tea drinking.In fact I just carry around my all purpose mug and I no longer have to verbally communicate,it's all done my walking back in to the crew room.
It's also done by a the diary girl timer. !!!
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