Overheard on Cheltenham Tower freq...
Join Date: May 2000
Location: poor gps coverage
Posts: 204
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Plenty to keep you laughing,
Worth a look at these!
http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthr...5&pagenumber=1
Worth a look at these!
http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthr...5&pagenumber=1
Heard this myself at ABN on tower frequency. An S-61 is being held at a visual reporting point about 6 miles East of the airfield while 2 Shorts 360s are carrying out ILS approaches in strong winds. Female tower controller is aware that this is causing some delay to the inbound 61 and calls them gratefully to say:
"Bristow XXX, thanks for waiting patiently, I'll let you in as soon as my shorts are down"
"Bristow XXX, thanks for waiting patiently, I'll let you in as soon as my shorts are down"
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,852
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I was in the Toronto Island Airport tower (YTZ) years ago when I heard this from contoller Monty:
"City 301, are you going to take off with that door open or do you think you might want to close it?"
City: "Yes, we know."
And immediately one of the "ramp rats" ran across the tarmac and closed the rear baggage door on the Dash 7 which had stopped taxiing for takeoff.
"City 301, are you going to take off with that door open or do you think you might want to close it?"
City: "Yes, we know."
And immediately one of the "ramp rats" ran across the tarmac and closed the rear baggage door on the Dash 7 which had stopped taxiing for takeoff.
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 126
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I'm sitting quietly in the left hand seat accompanying a brand new PPL on his first post-licence Navex "You fly it Bloggs, I'll do the radio".
Two hours into the flight he asks "Where is Beem, I can't find it on the map?"
Me "I've no idea"
PPL "You MUST know, you've kept refering to it all afternoon"
Me "Like when?"
PPL "Like just now when the controller asked where you were and you said you were West 'a beam"
Two hours into the flight he asks "Where is Beem, I can't find it on the map?"
Me "I've no idea"
PPL "You MUST know, you've kept refering to it all afternoon"
Me "Like when?"
PPL "Like just now when the controller asked where you were and you said you were West 'a beam"
Better red than ...
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Appleby-in-Westmorland Cumbria England
Posts: 1,412
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
An apocryphal tale of a 747 about 10 DME from 27R at Heathrow
Tower “Speedbird 02 can you reduce your speed 10kts please, there is a slow moving turbo prop ahead of you”
747 Capn “Wilco, speed 260”
Tower (moments later) “Speedbird 02 apologies, can you reduce speed a further 20kts, slow moving turbo prop ahead”
747 Capn “Wilco, speed 240, I hope this is the last request”
Tower (at 6DME) “Speedbird 02, can you reduce speed a further 10kts for the turbo prop as you are still closing”
747 Capn “Madam, do you have any idea what the stalling speed of a Boeing 747-400 is?)
Tower “No but I’m sure if you ask your first officer he can tell you”
[Speed may be a bit inaccurate but you get the gist of the tale]
Tower “Speedbird 02 can you reduce your speed 10kts please, there is a slow moving turbo prop ahead of you”
747 Capn “Wilco, speed 260”
Tower (moments later) “Speedbird 02 apologies, can you reduce speed a further 20kts, slow moving turbo prop ahead”
747 Capn “Wilco, speed 240, I hope this is the last request”
Tower (at 6DME) “Speedbird 02, can you reduce speed a further 10kts for the turbo prop as you are still closing”
747 Capn “Madam, do you have any idea what the stalling speed of a Boeing 747-400 is?)
Tower “No but I’m sure if you ask your first officer he can tell you”
[Speed may be a bit inaccurate but you get the gist of the tale]
Crazy Scandihooligan
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Damn, some mountain goat is nibbling my ear ;-)
Age: 52
Posts: 482
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
He He
Overheard whilst on a fam visit to the tower.
212 on ILS approach in ****ty weather, and RVR was down to about 80M on Runway 20L
Tower - Please advise your alternate
212 - 02 sir
Tower - stunned silence
The other which is faily good was told me by someone else
Puma (Unkown company, but either Norsk or CHC) coming in also on a ****ty day to Bergen.
Tower - What are your company minima for VFR approach
Puma - Small company, small minima
Tower - stunned silence again.
MD
212 on ILS approach in ****ty weather, and RVR was down to about 80M on Runway 20L
Tower - Please advise your alternate
212 - 02 sir
Tower - stunned silence
The other which is faily good was told me by someone else
Puma (Unkown company, but either Norsk or CHC) coming in also on a ****ty day to Bergen.
Tower - What are your company minima for VFR approach
Puma - Small company, small minima
Tower - stunned silence again.
MD
